Police: Lindsay Lohan Violated Probation

January 4th, 2011 // 43 Comments

“But… but… I’m so pretty.”

Despite the fact her accuser suddenly refused to cooperate with police before falling off the face of the Earth – Read: Dina paid her off – Palm Spring Police announced today they have enough evidence to charge Lindsay Lohan with battery effectively putting her in violation of her probation. As if that even means something. People reports:

Police now assert the actress did, in fact, commit battery against a Betty Ford employee in a Dec. 12 scuffle – and plan to hand the case over to local prosecutors for review.
“The investigation determined Ms. Lohan violated several aspects of her probation, including the battery [charge],” the Palm Desert Police Department said in a press release Monday, adding that they plan to notify Lohan’s probation officer.
Betty Ford employee Dawn Holland was fired the same day she went public with claims that Lohan threw a phone at her and yanked another phone out of her hand, causing a sprain after a confrontation at the famed Rancho Mirage, Calif., clinic.
Police continued their investigation despite Holland’s decision to recant her claims, with her attorney stating that Holland, a former addict herself, had no desire to see Lohan prosecuted.

For those of you keeping track at home, Lindsay has been out of rehab less than 24 hours and has already managed to move almost directly on top of Samantha Ronson’s face and find herself looking at six months in jail that I’m not even going to pretend she’ll serve. At this point, she might as well run over another baby and get it over with. I mean, seriously, what is it? 10 a.m. Pacific? Let’s knock this thing out now, then everyone can take the rest of the week off. I’ll even see if one of those Teen Mom kids suddenly wants to have their life back. We can be done before lunch.

Photos: WENN

superficial

  1. Mortimer Duke

    So lemme get this straight. They allow former addicts to work at the clinic? Thats tantamount to Pookie working in the crack factory in New Jack City.

  2. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Another probation violation, another trip to the California State Spa. God, how could she possibly not be completely reformed by now?!?

  3. Hugh Gentry

    scissor me!!!!!!

  4. Lt. Dangle

    FCUK THESE PIGS. GO FIND SOME OF THE THOUSANDS OF WARRANTS OUTSTANDING, OR CHECK ON THE FUCKING CHILD RAPISTS ON PAROLE, SWING BY THERE, DUMB-ASSES.

    ALL COPS SUK MONKEY DIX

  5. Mel

    Wow she yanked a phone out of her hand, send her to San Quentin

  6. They’re gonna find this bitch dead in a hotel room somewheres from an overdose. She’s just getting away with too much shit.

    • Nerd

      At this point, I think the world just wants that to happen to get rid of her.

    • Mortimer Duke

      I think they are waiting for her to have the Robert Downey revelation when shes more of a “I role with Charlie Sheen” kinda gal.

      Im sick of hearing about this hoe. Her “parents” and “friends” are enablers and shes now officially an eternal cosmic punchline.

      And trust me this bitch wont die anytime soon. I wish Fish would not post any of the fire crotch’s shenanigans for a while.

    • Eugene

      and her parents will blame … the court system for not doing it’s job even though they’ve fought tooth and nail to get her this special treatment.

  7. Lindsay Lohan
    lightdragon
    Commented on this photo:

    “gee I seem to can’t remember my name”

  8. Turd Ferguson

    She is a worthless pig. Just die already and force your equally worthless parents to pimp out your sister for money.

  9. She might as welll. No one in Hollywood is going to hire her for shit. She’s done……

    .

    • Never say never. Robery Downey Jr was completely unemployable at one point, nobody would provide insurance for a film he was attached to because he was due to relapse into jail/rehab/overdose/dead at any minute. Mel Gibson personally saved his career and now he’s A-list (and Mel is the one in trouble).

      Lindsay might rise like a phoenix from the ashes, you never know. The boobs are ruined though, there’s no saving those flapjacks.

  10. JesseJimmy

    When do we reach the point where she’s in Shannon Tweed-like movies on Skinemax? Because that’s when I’ll start paying attention again. . .

  11. AC

    If you’re gonna use cocaine as facepowder, you have to blend, blend, blend!

  12. Believe me, she has violated more than her probation.

  13. Glenn Beck

    the police have a ridiculous hard-on for busting this chick

    she threw a phone? OH NO CALL THE COPS THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH

    fucking get over it you pathetic morons, try getting a hobby or watching TV.. same goes for the dumbass who wrote this article

  14. Well once again, a former drug addict who worked for Betty Ford and was fired for going public about being allegedly accosted by Lindsay Lohan is in the news. **Here’s crickets chirping**

    Who is truly surprised by this? Yeah, maybe Lindsay didn’t assault the woman. Thing is, if it wasn’t this charge, Lindsay was going to do somethnig stupid to fuck her parole up anyhow. Oh well, another in a long list of transgressions by this centuries version of Dana Plato.

  15. What’s wrong with her upper lip? It looks like she’s trying to do duck calls.

  16. People were calling Demi Lovato the next Lindsay Lohan after she went into treatment, That is not true there is one big difference, unlike Lohan, Miss Lovato is serious about her treatment and recovery.

  17. RoboZombie

    Can we just skip to the domineering prison guard scene???

  18. datroof

    Her lips were genetically designed to be wrapped around my penis.

  19. AAAAAAFLAC!!!!!!!!!!@!@!

  20. Lindsay Lohan
    pooter
    Commented on this photo:

    she look like an effin sleestak with those glasses

  21. Rhialto

    Interesting… We’d know now a whole lot more about LiLo…

  22. bimbamboing

    Some prefer fish lips and others a nose ring, yep.

  23. Galtacticus

    Those fish lips are her trademark now.

  24. Nikki

    How old is this chick again? She’s already got rings around her tree trunk neck. Are you sure Dina isn’t dressing up as Lindsey for attention?

  25. every day we get away with shit, what’s another for her. jesus move on

  26. Lindsay Lohan
    123
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she really need to ruin her lips and blow them up like that?

  27. Lindsay Lohan
    kai
    Commented on this photo:

    so ugly!

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