Plaxico Burress continues to win at life

November 30th, 2008 // 63 Comments

New York Giants Super Bowl star Plaxico Burress is having an awesome season. The controversial receiver accidentally shot himself in the leg early Saturday morning after a concealed gun slipped out of his waistband at a Manhattan club, according to NY Daily News:

Burress, 31, who was sporting flashy jewelry and carrying loads of cash, told club management he needed the gun to protect himself, sources said.
The mercurial Giant was waved inside the crowded Latin-themed club on Lexington Ave. about midnight. He downed several drinks, making already jittery security guards more nervous about his weapon.
As Burress was being led into a VIP area, with a drink in his hand, the gun slipped down his pants leg. He reached for the weapon, but fumbled it and it went off, sources said. The bullet tore through Burress’ already injured right thigh, police said.
“[The bullet] went in and out. No bones,” Chief Michael Collins, a police spokesman, said.

Of course, discharging a loaded handgun in a club might, I dunno, get you fucking arrested. So with some quick thinking, Plaxico employed the help of Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce who stashed the gun in Jersey. Just like that episode of The Sopranos where Tony gets the paper in his boxers:

Panicking, Burress told his teammate not to call 911 for an ambulance, sources said.
Pierce helped the bloodied receiver out of the club before taking off with the gun and stashing it somewhere in New Jersey, sources said.
Burress was afraid to go to the hospital, but two hours after the shooting, at 2 a.m., his wife, Tiffany, and a friend escorted him to New York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill Cornell. He was treated and released at about 12:45 p.m., sources said.
But a hospital spokeswoman denied that Burress was ever there.
Cops only learned about the incident after Giants employees quietly reached out to the NYPD to report it, sources said.

Damn! Ratted out by your own team? That’s gotta sting. Probably not as much a bullet to your already-injured leg, but Jesus. Anyway, let this be a lesson to the kids out there: Always use a holster.

And that’s one to grow on…

Photo: ESPN
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  1. Balls McCoy

    firbst.

  2. Duce

    OWNED SECOND BITCHES CAUSE I GOT NO LIFE>

  3. Burress has been trouble since day 1. I wish they would trade him.

  4. Rhode Island

    Anyone posting after me sucks on Plexico’s long negroid penis

  5. fearsarewishes

    Visor jauntily set on the ill tip – check
    Sporting flashy jewelry and carrying loads of cash – check
    Conspiring to conceal evidence of a felony – check

    Yup, that’s a criminal. Dim witted, low life, garden variety type.

  6. fearsarewishwes

    Ho ho, Rhode, you sure got me with that one!

    Hee hee, that was really good. Just make sure to delete the history. Remember that your mom promised to ground you if she caught you “abusing your computer privilege.”

  7. Ted from LA

    Big deal. Barney Fife did this kind of shit all the time.

  8. playa

    hahahahhahah what a playa, doesnt get much more REAL…

  9. playa

    hahahahhahah what a playa, doesnt get much more REAL…

  10. Rhode Island's Mom

    *slurp*slurp*

    Shoot it on my titties, Plexico, shoot it on my titties!!!

  11. Dee

    should have shot himself in the head

    GIANTS SUCK

  12. rhode island moms pimp

    get ur ugly ass back on the corner i left u on

    SKANK

  13. Cornelius

    “Visor jauntily set on the ill tip – check
    Sporting flashy jewelry and carrying loads of cash – check
    Conspiring to conceal evidence of a felony – check

    Yup, that’s a criminal. Dim witted, low life, garden variety type.”

    Amen. A typical n**ga. Epic fail.

  14. DS

    What a moron

  15. ConnieCorleone

    Damn right the Giants reported it; they need this sh*t documented for their lawsuit. Way to blow it, dumbass.

  16. Cartman

    Some would say “stupid nigger”.

    I say “overpaid African American who makes poor choices when attempting to impress others in a social setting”.

  17. jonny monstikio

    Once again….the laws do not apply to the rich and famous. All GSW (gun shot wounds) must be IMMEDIATELY reported to the NYPD by the treating hospital. It is the law. But if your a NY Giant, it’s okay to discharge a gun in a crowded club and endanger everyone around you.
    Remember when Jayson Williams shot and killed his Limo driver just for a goof.

  18. Breaking News: Plaxico Burress Promises Not To Shoot Himself in the Head: “It would be a waste of bullets.”

    http://www.etruesports.com/index.php?page=article&articleId=230

  19. hnsgbasb

    TNB

  20. bootlips

    It still makes me wonder why negroes never accomplished anything on their own. They seem to be very civilized apes.

  21. havoc

    And we reward dumb motherfuckers like this with millions of dollars and put them on shows like Cribs.

    Put one behind his ear…..

    .

  22. Vince Lombardi

    I remember the night just before Super Bowl I (we didn’t actually call it Super Bowl then – it was the World Championship), when Max McGee and Boyd Dowler went out to Brown Derby in Hollywood. The Packers didn’t know it, but Max had a habit of carrying his father’s WW2 M1 carbine with him for protection. He used to keep it down the leg of his trousers and would try to impress the ladies at the bar by making it poke out the material around his ankle.

    Well, sir, that night he’d had a bit to drink and he went to the restroom. Naturally, he asked Dowler to hold the rifle for him. So Dowler ended up holding the rifle while Max stood at the urinal. Dowler wasn’t familiar with the M1 and ended up cranking off a round into the floor. The resulting ricochet hit Dowler in the hand.

    Before the game, I told McGee I didn’t care how drunk he was, he should have never let Dowler hold that gun and that he should have given it to the restroom attendant. That’s when McGee revealed to me that the attendant was a Negro (no, sir, I don’t know for sure if it was Sammy Davis, Jr), so it all made sense to me then. McGee, lush that he was, knew enough who to let hold his rifle, so I let him start and darn if the kid didn’t score two touchdowns and we won the game.

  23. Spagett!

    stupid nig

    what a waste of life

  24. I dont believe Fabulous’s crew trek Latin Quaters!

  25. max

    The guys too stupid to own guns. Does he have kids? If not he may soon own a Darwin Award when he does manage to kill himself with his stupidity. Athletic prowess and ability does not equate to intelligence.

    Reminds me of Dexter Manley. Star college football player, graduated and went to the NFL. Problem: he was still illiterate and spent much of his time in the NFL having drug and other criminal problems.

  26. venom666

    Once a n1gger always a n1gger.

    And we worship, pay and idolize these idiots that are willing to throw away their careers at a night club by doing drugs or having guns?

    What is wrong with blacks? Utter losers in society. Scum!

  27. fearsrewishes

    “I’m a kneegrow, baby, so why don’t you kill me.”

    Beck

  28. grobpilot

    Millions of dollars in the bank and not worth one fucking dime. No matter how much bling, how many cars, how many brainless whores on his arm, he’s still fucking worthless.

  29. Danklin24

    I’ll be the first to say it. Stupid nigger.

    Know how to get out of having to carry a gun because you have a shitload of cash on you?

    Dont have a shitload of cash on you. Fuckass.

  30. F-Obama

    What a dumb shit. Most places, it’s a felony to carry a gun, even with a permit, into a bar. Too bad he wasn’t picking his teeth with it.

  31. F-Obama

    The picture.. is that his cell phone? With the cord and all? What the fuck! Hasn’t anyone heard of a cordless phone? It looks like the ape is in the middle of his habitat on that thing, not in a building. They put Corded phones in the cotton, err, football fields?

  32. mimi

    Moron, that’s the phone to the offensive coordinators booth at the stadium. You’re dumber than he is. tsk tsk

    Pray for this dumb twit! Get on your knees and beg God to help people like this or civilization is doomed!

  33. SIN

    #31. tHAT IS A SIDE LINE PHONE AND THEY ALL HAVE CORDS. nOW IF HE WOULD JUST CHOKE HIMSELF WITH IT. Sorry. Had cap lock on.

    With his stupidity and upcoming legal issues, the Bengals must want him bad.

  34. Tom K

    Why is this dumb trash carrying a gun to a club? Do Negros like looking stupid to the rest of America time and time again?

  35. Gunindaclub

    Who the fuck calls their kid Plexico?

  36. Gunindaclub

    Who the fuck calls their kid Plexico? That’s the real tragedy here.

  37. DeBrickeshaw Ferguson

    c’mon 35 & 36, it’s Plaxico, with an A. Get your stupid coon names right for godsakes…Just imagine if someone called me DaBrickeshaw instead of DeBrickeshaw???

  38. The Man

    Plaxico, already the titleholder of the “Stupidest Porch Monkey Name” award, also wanted to win the “Stupidest Porch Monkey Carrying a Gun” award.

    Either that or he was keeping it so “real” that he felt he had to bust a cap in his own ass, but he missed and hit his leg…

  39. Massa'

    I think that darkies have made tremendous strides since we freed their porch monkey ass’s over 150 years ago. Just look at the accomplishments of the Black race as a whole in that time:

    -Worldwide Leaders in Newborn child abandonment
    -Milked the Welfare System to uncharted territory
    -Invented the crack rock & the crack house (double whammy)
    -Perfected the Smash & Grab robbery technique
    -Got “carjacking” put into Webster’s Dictionary (no not Emmanuelle Lewis’)
    -Successfully avoided Hate Crime prosecution for Black on White crime
    -Successfully destroyed inner city economical growth in every major US city

  40. Massa'

    I think that darkies have made tremendous strides since we freed their porch monkey ass’s over 150 years ago. Just look at the accomplishments of the Black race as a whole in that time:

    -Worldwide Leaders in Newborn child abandonment
    -Milked the Welfare System to uncharted territory
    -Invented the crack rock & the crack house (double whammy)
    -Perfected the Smash & Grab robbery technique
    -Got “carjacking” put into Webster’s Dictionary (no not Emmanuelle Lewis’)
    -Successfully avoided Hate Crime prosecution for Black on White crime
    -Successfully destroyed inner city economical growth in every major US city

  41. Massa'

    I think that darkies have made tremendous strides since we freed their porch monkey ass’s over 150 years ago. Just look at the accomplishments of the Black race as a whole in that time:

    -Worldwide Leaders in Newborn child abandonment
    -Milked the Welfare System to uncharted territory
    -Invented the crack rock & the crack house (double whammy)
    -Perfected the Smash & Grab robbery technique
    -Got “carjacking” put into Webster’s Dictionary (no not Emmanuelle Lewis’)
    -Successfully avoided Hate Crime prosecution for Black on White crime
    -Successfully destroyed inner city economical growth in every major US city

  42. Deacon Jones

    He’s pleading not guilty. Great.
    It’s everyone else’s fault. This piece of shit reinforces every stereotype you can think of .

    Not only that, but this asshole on ESPN on Saturday had the balls to go from reporting this story to complaining how there’s only 3 black head coaches in Division 1 football. I was laughing my ass off.

  43. Vince Lombardi

    asking a black to coach a team is like asking a Clydesdale to lead itself.

    The darkies are good workhorses sure, but they lack a fully developed frontal lobe and have no basic organizational skills needed to guide a staff and team. The basic communication skills needed to legibly direct coaches and players are also lacking.

  44. Cartman

    Plaxico is stupid as a box of rocks but pleading “not guilty” is basically saying you want a jury trial. They can’t very well give you a trial and let you off the hook if you walk in pleading guilty.

  45. Vince Lombardi

    Great…. now *I* have a troll.

  46. Eli Manning

    What a jackass! I’m never throwing him the ball again.

  47. The Man

    When is the NFL gonna open up it’s eyes and finally realize that Porch Monkeys just aren’t fit to play in the NFL. NFL players are role models to children, and black NFL players are certainly not role models for anything other than telling young black kids that getting arrested countless times, doing drugs, selling drugs, beating your wife & girlfriend, abandoning your kids, shooting people, shooting yourself, carrying guns and committing countless other felonies is totally cool. The blacks need to be removed from professional sports until such time that they can show that they can control their primal instincts to rob, cheat, steal, and take no responsibility for their own actions (unless they score a touchdown, then it was all their doing)….

    Fucking porch monkey’s, you free their worthless ass’s, try to help them acheive the American dream, yet the only ones that have even come close to being financially succesful are athletes. Maybe it’s just time we realized, as a Nation, that blacks aren’t meant to be free, and are simply incapable of responsible behavior that even retarded people seem to grasp….

  48. Nuke Africa

    #47 you are dead on and that is the truth. These people are a different sub-specie and that is all there is to it. We are not the same and nature does not provide for the successful coexistence for rivals. One always has to go.

  49. Right so um no

    This is just disgusting. I am getting quite tired of professional athletes being stupendously ignorant with their ill-gotten gains. I’m glad there are those out there that start programs, work with United Way, donate large portions of their earnings, make a GOOD name for themselves. However, it takes 100 of those types to overshadow one MORON like this. The NFL and all other professional sports affiliations need to set better and more strict standards on who can maintain contracts, because in recent years professional sports have lost all reins and it is disgraceful.

  50. Ty

    Wow…white people sure are fucking nasty. I had thought most of the real supremacists like you people on here had faded away, but i guess enough of you remain for this whole fucking board to be full of racist garbage.

    I honestly couldn’t care less what white people think. But, i think they are the ones that are subhuman. It is totally inhumane the way that they speak and think about others just because they have different skin colors.

    White men are just intimidated because black men have big dicks and fuck white bitches like crazy. And they know a black man could beat their motherfucking ass in a HEARTBEAT! Black men challenge their ‘manhood’.

    That’s the thing about crackers: they’re scary as fuck. Can’t fight.
    Can talk shit.

    Get lives. This man is making millions and living life to the fullest and you guys are ugly white men with small dicks, low self esteem and non-existent social lives.

    White supremacy my ass! Lol! Fuck whitey! Dumb ass crackers…

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