Pippa Middleton is Single
“Remember, that coat comes off and these men have orders to shoot. Do smile, sister!”
“It is common knowledge in their close circle of friends that Pippa and Alex have recently split up,” a friend is quoted as telling the Times of London.
Middleton’s newfound celebrity put a strain on the relationship, though the pair will “stay good friends,” the Sun reports.
ALEX: I’m sorry, love, but I can’t in good conscience agree it’s the greatest bum in all of England. I’ll have no part in this charade.
PIPPA: But must we separate? We both abhor dental hygiene so much, that must count for something.
ALEX: Funny story, the Americans have captured electricity into toothbrushes. Positively brilliant.
PIPPA: I don’t even know you anymore!
(It’s like you’re a fly on the wall, I know.)