Pippa Middleton is Single

June 13th, 2011 // 65 Comments

“Remember, that coat comes off and these men have orders to shoot. Do smile, sister!”

Seen here wearing the Pea Green Ass-Blocker of Dorcestershire so as not to upstage the Royal Anus, Pippa Middleton is reportedly single, according to People:

“It is common knowledge in their close circle of friends that Pippa and Alex have recently split up,” a friend is quoted as telling the Times of London.
Middleton’s newfound celebrity put a strain on the relationship, though the pair will “stay good friends,” the Sun reports.

ALEX: I’m sorry, love, but I can’t in good conscience agree it’s the greatest bum in all of England. I’ll have no part in this charade.
PIPPA: But must we separate? We both abhor dental hygiene so much, that must count for something.
ALEX: Funny story, the Americans have captured electricity into toothbrushes. Positively brilliant.
PIPPA: I don’t even know you anymore!

(It’s like you’re a fly on the wall, I know.)

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. metacritic

    Yipeee…first!

  2. TomFrank

    After weeks of Pippa Middleton shots, we post this picture to remind you that Prince William did in fact choose the hotter sister.

  3. Bow Chica Wow Wow

    Apparently she’s now dating some guy worth £315 million. It’s like a different world.

  4. herbieverstinks

    can we stop pretending that this bitch anything but mediocre, please?

  5. Catherine

    Her ass is so underwhelming! I just don’t understand… I would rather see the cellulite machine that is the Kardass any day.

  6. Ponkur

    Nobody in England, or anywhere else, gives a shit.

  7. DogBoy

    “Seen here wearing the Pea Green Ass-Blocker of Dorcestershire so as not to upstage the Royal Anus”… simply, brilliant.

  8. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Wills is looking slightly aged.

  9. wot, no upskirts?? so much for british paps

  10. cc

    She’s not as hot as she’s made out to be, but I’ve been keeping my fascinator in tip top shape waiting for this occasion.

    BTW, fascinator is the euphemism for penis, for you that are slow of the mark.

  11. Richard McBeef

    i wouldn’t even jack off into that bitches mouth while thinking about her much hotter sister. That’s saying something considering what I usually jack off into when thinking about her hotter sister.

  12. Linzie

    I am actually starting to think she is paying the medias to call her hot

    • butters

      i said wut wut, in the butt
      i said wut wut, in the butt
      i said wut wut, in the butt
      i said wut wut, in the butt

  13. AleisterCrowley

    Wtf? Both sisters are hot.

  14. Popl

    Woman with a hat = high maintenance pain in the ass

  15. Barry

    Their English….give them 10 years and they will look like Mick Jagger.

  16. AC

    what? pippa is the younger sister? and why is she hot again? fuck!

  17. Basil Spaulding

    Tarry Ho!

  18. Basil Spaulding

    Quite the fetching vixen , What !

  19. See Alice

    Normal people dont belong here ……..

  20. These are the same people that tried to tell us Fergie was hot

    *If you think that’s a Black Eyed Pea reference, congratulations…you’re 16…and retarded.

  21. Euroman

    Those anyone else think these two are the British version of Paris and Nikki Hilton; two common trollops desperately wanting to be Royals.

    (One of them is for now but I wonder for how long; the Windsor family does not have good track record for marriages; See Princess Margaret/ Lord Snowdon; Princess Anne/ Mark Phillips; Chuck/Di; Andy/Fergie etc.)

  22. ReadHead

    Nice jacket. She’s just a corgi away from Single White Femaling the Queen

  23. anonym

    WHAT THE FUCK is the obsession with pippa ???

    SHE’S FUCKIN UGLY

  24. Dflytiger

    They need to stop jersey shoring it in the sun. Pippa especially, she looks 5 yrs older than kate. Kate is prettier but up close they both look old. Wrinkle damage from the sun is irreversible.

  25. Venom

    Kate just owned Pippa royally :)

  26. Artofwar

    …And I believe her choices in head haberdashery is the reason she will remain single….Arotfwar

  27. !!!!!!!

    how are they in their 20′s? these broads look old.

  28. poor pippa

    Maybe people say pippa is hot to make her feel better. kate is stunning and classy british or not. her figure and proportions are stunning. Pippa has the worst taste in grooming and clothing. But William…imagine him in 10 years. He will be unrecognizable.

  29. DGS

    whatever, who’s the chick on the right?

  30. SexxiMamma

    Can someone tell me what kind of fuckin’ name is Pippa?

  31. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa is a haggard looking woman. Kates the hottie

  32. the captain

    just be glad for this, folks.

  33. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    Anon
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa will never forgive Kate for marrying into royalty. Fuck hats. Fuck them.

  34. Colin

    Does anyone else feel like those are suspiciously mischievous looks they’ve got? That’s the kind of look before me and my friends give each other right before we decide it’s a good idea to get drunk and then go see Rocky Horror Picture Show and end up making out with drag queens in the aisles.

  35. Anya

    that pippa bitch looks ROUGH. Ugly with no fashion sense and looks even older than her gold digger mother. The bones in her chest are scaring me

  36. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    ayo
    Commented on this photo:

    jfc EAT SOMETHING

  37. keijo

    these bitches have style

  38. Mishka

    A crow died on Pippa’s head. And Kate’s wearing a satellite dish.

  39. So that brings the total of hot chicks from England up to ….. 1?

  40. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    huh!
    Commented on this photo:

    Stop giving these inbreds attention like a pathetic groveling peasant. More Americans watched the wedding than Brits and you’re heading towards a depression. What’s that say?

  41. God is Black

    William mate, you got it right, Kate ,tall Brunette , slim but not anorexic and beautiful smile. Pippa, short (i.e. has self esteem issues), tanned like Carrot Top, has no arse, has bones shown , and shitty fashion sense……..I have shagged a many Drunken Pommie Tards in Ibiza that are 10X better than Pippa!

  42. bing

    If I ever managed one day to reproduce and get a daughter, I will call her Pippa.

  43. Stephanie

    Is it me? Or does Kate always have this “I want to fuck you” look on her face? She’s gorgeous, but old looking. Her sister looks like rawhide and her face is all wrong..like she is missing a gene or something. Who knew a party supply business could get you so far…

  44. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    longdong!
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to screw Kate Middleton so bad,shes hot!

  45. Pippa Middleton Butt Kate Middleton
    longdong!
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish i could screw Kate and Pippa Middleton, they sure make me masturbate!

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