Pink marries Carey Hart

January 9th, 2006 // 34 Comments

pink-married.jpgPink got married to Carey Hart in Costa Rica over the weekend, further confusing everybody in the world that thought she was a lesbian.

Per Us Weekly, the two-time Grammy winner, whose real name is Alecia Moore, wore a cream gown and had her blonde hair accented with, yes, pink highlights. Pink, 26, and Hart, 30, walked barefoot down the candle-lit aisle to the strains of Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman,” according to Us.

I always pictured Pink getting married in Vegas to a buzzcut woman in her mid 30′s. Actually that’s a lie. The only thing I’ve ever pictured Pink doing is getting cut in half by a samurai sword, and that was shortly after I saw her trying to perform live. I’m not sure if you know this, but hearing her perform live will literally cause your intestines to explode and make you crap your pants in pain. I have a very dirty pair of underwear that can vouch for this.

Nice Day for a Pink Wedding [E!]

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  1. Am I the only one who sees the irony in her walking down the aisle to a song called “Always A Woman” when she’s more masculine than most drill instructors? Most MALE drill instructors?

  2. CristallineO

    He actually looks gay…

  3. Feel the Velvet

    Carey Hart? The dude who wears his sunglasses at night? Who knew after all these years he could still score tail like that?

    Actually, I don’t find her attactive at all, and I echo Cate’s comments.

  4. Binky

    No – that was Cory Hart.
    I believe this is Mary Hart’s ex. He had a minor hit ” I need Entertainment Tonight ” a few years back-but it didn’t rise too high on Billboard.

  5. amma

    …I hear you on the irony Cate…I mean Pink is buffed. I always thought she was a lesbian too…even her name, I thought it was some sort of feminist symbol.
    She has got these broad ass shoulders and little hips. In pictures she snarls and looks like she is going to bite you–but not in a good way. She looks like Billy Idol’s little lesbian sister.

  6. ZoomBoy

    Does this mean now she gets really crappy tattoos for free?

  7. If they both have herpes, do they cancel each other’s herpes out? Isn’t that how it works? Or do they have to have sex with a virgin? No wait, that’s AIDS.

    Not that I’m sure they both have herpes, just that it would explain a lot and also make sense because Pink is so gross.

  8. PapaHotNuts

    I heard on ESPN that the New Orleans Saints were going to take Pink as their first pick in the NFL draft because they are in desperate need of a defensive lineman. With her size, strength, and ability to put fear into the hearts of all who oppose her, she should provide that extra spark on defense that will allow the Saints to get back to the playoffs. The NFL will automatically penalize the Saints 15 yards prior to each game just for having a terrifying sea-donkey on their roster.

  9. Wiseromancer

    Everyone got confused because she sang, “I’m coming out (so you better get this party started)”. She didn’t come out. The party didn’t start. But now she has a beard. So does Star Jones. Hmmm … wonder if Carey and Al get along ??

  10. Mary45

    I guess the ads for the “pink” tool kits above pretty much say it all…

  11. lux

    carey hart is a motocross racer who doesn’t “look” gay or bad at all, actually. except judging from the picture above I might be able to see why you’d think that. I would also understand if you thought Pink was some sort of Tom Arnold/canine mix based on that picture too.

  12. Captain Awesome

    I’m glad to see more and more same sex marriages between men, becoming the norm.

  13. FIVE0

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TOO FUCKING FUNNY PapaHotNuts!!! DAMNIT!!! I just pissed myself laughing so hard.

  14. I always get Pink and Wee Man confused. Which one is which again?

    There’s a new celeb split breaking in case anyone’s interested …

    http://www.kisskissandallthat.blogspot.com/

  15. Well you know what they say, uncommonamerican? The difference between herpes and love is herpes lasts forever. I wonder if Aerosmith’s song Pink comes to Carey’s mind when he goes down on her?

    “…pink when I turned out the light” too funny.

  16. I can’t belive that no one has commented on the fact that her HEAD is so much larger than his…What kind of guy wants woman with a melon the size of the Superdome?

  17. HollyJ

    I bet is penis has totally sucked into his pubic mound in fear. An arctic dip couldn’t make a penis disappear faster.

  18. HughJorganthethird

    Which one is Pink again? The one with the shitty highlites and the Fu-manchu or the dude? Fuck I need a better monitor…

  19. penngoldie

    Wiseromancer said: “Everyone got confused because she sang, ‘I’m coming out (so you better get this party started)’. She didn’t come out. The party didn’t start.”

    Wiseromancer you are fucking hilarious!!!! I’ve been having a terrible day and this had me on the floor.

  20. Jeremy1Esq

    Pink is so gross she has me lusting after Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton. Carey Hart will be cheating on her regularly with a bunch of 14 yr old motocross groupees. Their child wont be much different then Cobain and Courtney Loves kid.

  21. How can she be on her fourth album? I thought she only had that one song?

  22. ebayfan414

    Wiseromancer said: “Everyone got confused because she sang, ‘I’m coming out (so you better get this party started)’. She didn’t come out. The party didn’t start.”

    The lyrics are actually “I’m coming UP”, not “I’m coming OUT”.

  23. Nilah

    I’m not going to be liked for this, but I saw P!nk perform live and it was very good. In contrary to other pop princesses, she can sing.

  24. Nilah

    Am I the only one who actually likes her and her music? I saw her perform live and in contrary to other pop princesses (yes, I mean you ashlee, etc.), she can sing.

  25. AmberDextrose

    Nice one, Wiseromancer (UP, OUT, who gives a damn – it was funny). She is one scary dude. Dude-ess? Dude.

    Maybe she’s been taking tips from Tom Cruise. Did anyone see her jumping on a couch?

  26. Isn’t it beautiful the way things work out in Hollywood? Chad Lowe and his man, Hillary Swank, end their marriage. Then Carey Hart marries his man, Pink.

  27. fairuza

    Just because Pink doesnt follow the pathetic Stupid Girl image (that you all obviously want women to conform to), it doesnt make her any less of a woman – check out how HOT she is! She sings about real things -Family Portrait- and had the best concert i’ve ever been to as she actually acknowledges and respects her fans. Carey is far from gay, his work involves more masculinity than most of you lot will ever experience – try doing backflips on motocross bikes before you try to judge him again :) He also owns the ‘Hart and Huntington’ tattoo parlour, which is basically the BEST tattoo parlour around – with its own TV series. He’s also featured in many DVDs (inc. Inked, xXx, Chapter 2, Flipped Out, The Surreal Life, Charlies Angels 2, Punkd, Ultimate X, and a hell of a lot more as hes highly talented and very respected in the sporting world – by the likes of Travis Pastrana and Tony Hawk). So all in all, theyre a damn decent couple and not like the main-stream pathetic celebrities that you obviously seem to worship.

  28. stay away from the pink! stay away from the pink! http://hollywoodsnark.com

  29. crystal

    I think u should keep your comments in your right hand or left to those who are ass backwards. Your just wish u had what they got. Sorry!!!!!!

  30. kristen cuthbert

    i think carey and p!nk make a great cupple and they sude be together forever!

  31. Cj loves Pink

    everyone that thinks pink is a manly lesbian can get fucked!

    you people odnt know what your talking about!

    just because pink is willing to stand up for herself physically and with her words, and she wont take anyshit and doesnt walk around with a dog in her handbag doesnt mean that shes a manly lesbian…

    a) there is nothing rong with lesbians and people who are the same sex attracted..

    and

    b) how can she be a lesbian if shes married to a really hot guy CAREY HART!?

    you guys are all fucked..

    so what if pink is masculine?

    shes hell fucking hot,

    and would kick your ass anyway.

    well thats if the shit you say is worth it?

    which its not..

    get over yourselfs.

    pink is the greatest!

  32. moniqe

    guys/ galls number 28,30, 31, 32 i totally agrre with u.

    PINK FUCKIN´ ROCKS AND IF U GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!! STUPID HATERS……

  33. It is good!
    I think he’s just dumb or high enough to have let the truth slip to impress his crush Jimmy Kimmel.

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