'Try as he might, Billy could not shake her. She showed all the signs of being caught in the ice wizard’s spell. They were visible now, and soon, the ogre they had just fooled would smell them, and then see them. They had nearly made it, he thought, as the tears began to fall.
And then he saw them. Like towers of hope rising above the darkness, he felt a warmth and gladness he hadn’t felt in years. Perhaps they were there all along, and he hadn’t noticed, or perhaps the time was never right. But there were there, and he was here, and this moment of gladness would not last. Mustering all the courage he could, he spoke the only words that would break the spell, though he did not know it. They were the only two words he wanted to say, and he said them, proudly, as the footfalls of the ogre drew near.
'Nice tits.'
Said Gilberator on The Crap We Missed - Friday 8.24.12


Congratulations Gilberator, you made the blogger cry.
Dude I hope you’re working on the romance novel already. It couldn’t be too much more soul-destroying than the average 9-5 anyway. Plus you’ll cleave into that insufferable hack Nicolas Sparks’s market share, which would be awesome.
Agreed! G could laugh all the way to the bank, shit horny soccer moms are making that bitch who wrote 50 Shades fucking rich & that’s unbearable even if you try to read it as a horrible joke/spoof.
‘& that’s unbearable even if you try to read it as a horrible joke/spoof.’
Thank you so much for saying that and reviving my faith in women.
That’s a hitherto unimaginable level of awesome.
Brilliance. If I could write like this, or the way Fish does, I might have a literary career.
You’d need to hire a proofreader, just like Fish ought to do.
“But there were there …”
tldr