superficial

  1. “…and that’ll make her squirt for sure?”

  2. “Uhhhh listen, Heidi. When I said you can inspect me, I wasn’t thinking it would come to this but now that it has… Can you use 3 fingers instead?”

  3. Nothing like a leather tank top on the red carpet to class the place up.

  4. “You gotta be at least this wide”

  5. awk

    “And that’s how you count to 10.”

  6. LLBL

    “Und zhen I juzt steek zee fengers in liek zat und you vill love eet.”

  7. NuclearWalrus

    Yah, seal kalt it his “Kiss foah my roze”

  8. caley

    “Are you nervous about competing on America’s Got Talent?”
    “Uh, I’m Jason DeRulo…”
    “Yeah, have a good time out there!”

  9. tlmck

    “I’m sorry ma’am. I need to see the valet ticket.”

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