superficial

  1. Does he live in his mother’s basement?

  2. Johnny P!

    Brilliant actor.
    Needs to lose a few pounds so we can have him around longer…

  3. Raoul

    “Whew. Sheezus. I wish there were an easier way to get around other than walking everywhere.”

  4. JC

    “And so I had the doctor remove every sweat gland except for one, right in the middle of my torso.”

  5. Are you sure that’s him? He’s not wearing plaid.

  6. bigalkie

    He had to scour the earth to find a shorter, gayer looking assistant to deflect the obvious.

  7. richie

    when’s he due? does he know the sex yet? mazel tov!

  8. Contusion

    Now there’s a man who truly doesn’t give a fuck.

  9. Billebuoy

    Damn! Look at those biker calves.

    • The only way those are biker calves is if he ate the previous owner of that bicycle and it went straight to his legs.

    • They’re big-person calves. Calves are pretty much the only thing on a chronically overweight person that’re perfectly muscular and toned. But eff it, PSH, I love you, never change.

  10. Nolte Lite.

  11. Jake

    He’s not giving a fuck, which I admire.

  12. Hank E. Ring

    Poor Zach Braff is now an assistant.

  13. Neo

    Bicycle. Gay friend. and boner. Check, check and check.

  14. Frank The Duck

    Better to push that thing, you might have a coronary if you try to ride it…

  15. Shawn

    looks like the outline of a tiny gargoyle stuck to the front of his shorts.

  16. Willie Dixon

    Zach Braff, personal assistent to the stars.

  17. kimmykimkim

    He’s going to put that shirt in the freezer so he can chew on that stain later.

  18. Bionic_Crouton

    He has been looking very Richard Attenborough-y these days.

  19. He cleans up nicely, doesn’t he!

  20. The guy’s a decent actor, and he makes me feel like I’m actually in shape by comparison!

  21. Guy texting his “partner”:; Whew! You wouldn’t believe the stench of this fat slob walking next to me. Be home for dinner at 8.

  22. AmyD

    Phillip Seymore Bulge

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