1. Pickle Nose

    He has the hands and forearms of a six year old.

  2. “Keep acting like my girlfriend, there are photographers near. I promise I’ll have rest to you in a cashier’s check by 5:30.”

  3. Living off DiCaprio’s leftovers doesn’t look so bad…
    And the chick isn’t ugly either.

  4. catapostrophe

    She just realized the photographers are going to describe her as his girlfriend in their shots.

  5. “OMG, you know that many stars.”

  6. Nice try, Jonah. We all know that’s your sister.

  7. Jokely Carmichael

    “You had to blow who?”

  8. Just left clinic where they rewired her sense of smell back.

  9. Batu Khan

    Caption should read: Jonah Hill with his girlfriend who is contractually obligated to act as if she’s choking on her own breath from the excitement she’s dating Jonah Hill.

  10. She looks flattened. Missionary was probably a bad idea.

  11. “Ok, there’s the paparazi…just be cool and act like my girlfriend. Don’t let anyone know you’re my cousin”

  12. jep

    How did she manage to get those jeans on? They look likeone of those painted on bikinis… well, except for the bikini part.

  13. malaka`

    she looks cute. good for him

  14. Odbarc

    Passes by random girl, paparazzi calls her his girlfriend…
    Is she gagging on his fat-fumes or the idea of dating him?

  15. “Goddamn it! You didn’t tell me there would be pictures of us together.”

  16. ruckus

    The only difference between the two of them is that she has actually seen his cock.

  17. dontcare

    He’s a serious actor you guys!

  18. whatever

    it’s always those anorexic chicks who date really fat guys, so this is no odd couple, rather typical

  19. Vlad

    Did that caption just call me your girlfriend? PUH-lease!

  20. I thought hipsters weren’t supposed to be fat?

  21. Hey other fat guys of Earth, tattoos aren’t for us. Stop it.

  22. “You think I’m dating this cheeseball?”

  23. anonymous

    It’s the douche without his bag.

  24. EricLR

    I love the way she’s acting shocked at seeing a paparazzo–as if she’s dating him for his good looks, not to become famous herself. Well played, sweetie!

  25. ‘…then they did what on your chest?’

    ‘Yeah, i know. Pretty hot, huh? Wait, come back – I haven’t had my full hour yet! Hey!’

  26. PathosAvenger

    Fat, thin, fat, thin. Make up your fucking mind already.

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