You’re no Mickey Rourke.
Wait…..this gets to bang Miranda Kerr at will? I’m going to kill myself now!
Funny, that’s the same thought I had.
“Yeah keep laughing assholes… I may look like a douche but see pic #4 to see what I come home to every night”
Pictured right before Mario landed on his head
Why the hell’s one of the few people I actually want to see out in the open, got a dumbass toboggan covering his flapping face?
But…where’s his sword?
Pull it lower, man! Ya can’t wander into heavy traffic if ya can still see where you’re going.
He’s styling the new Colin Farrel line of douchewear.
It’s 75 degrees in Sydney today…that calls for a douche hat and sweaty hair!
Guys, the reason for the condom hat is obvious. Miranda’s smoking hot body burned his scalp during a bout of wild sex.
He’s method-rehearsing his upcoming role as a xenomorph elf.
Yes… I came inside of the woman whose picture you jerked off to 5 minutes ago.
I realize that you have never ACTUALLY had sex Orlando, but the fact that you have to be told that it goes on the other head is just sad.
“Havin’ sex with a soooo-per model! Havin’ sex with a soooo-per model…”
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Orlando Bloom in Sydney, Australia. (August 3, 2011)