“When this baby hits 88 miles per hour …”
Meanwhile, on the set of the Walking Dead…
…And if you fuck with me again, OnStar, don’t even THINK that I won’t BURN YOU TO THE FUCKING GROUND TOO!!!
Oops, I did it again! Where’s the fire extinguisher?
Trying to strike a match on the down low.
He’s been like that all day – walking up to random people and asking if they need their chimneys cleaned. It’s sad.
“$39 for an oil change?! Fucking crooks… What’s the worst that could happen?!”
That’s not a Jaguar is it?
Michael Douglas has looked better.
that’s the homeless guy that set that car on fire, right?
you aaaasked for it. you gooooot it. tooooooyoooooota.
“Go after that guy! I just found out he’s the killer!”
“Uh, Mr. Van Dyke? They stopped making ‘Diagnosis: Murder’ 12 years ago. Also, no one’s filming this.”
He is the bomb. Legend.
From my hometown, Danville, IL. My dad knew Jerry. But their dad, “Cookie” Van Dyke was supposedly funnier than both of them put together.
I’m literally going to drive into that car parked at the end of the block…. watch this shit
I will never cease marveling at his parents’ genius to work both “dick” and “dyke” into one human’s name.
“Oh my God! It’s not on fire!”
On behalf of myself, my family, school children, and countless pedestrians everywhere, get off the fucking road Dick. Damn!
This is what Bill Clinton looks like as a ‘tweaker’.
“Yeah, Dick Van Dyke just jacked my stereo and took off through Ikea!”
“We’ll send a car right away. Do you know where he is now?”
“Yes. He’s been tripping over the ottomans for the last five minutes. Hurry before he breaks a hip or something!”
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