1. Not going on Instagram, I guess…

  2. “Yes. Yes. I know that. I keep telling him there’s no ‘Whiteberry’ phone, but he keeps insisting that he’s planning a trip to Israel…”

  3. Calling corporate to verify he has permission to be black in public.

  4. j/k

    The moment he realized any black person with 6 feet of Sterling will be photographed.

  5. Evil Otto

    Mickey Rourke in his better days.

  6. JimBB

    Wow, role reversal. A black man calling security on HIM.

  7. “Yes security, there’s an old man here who lost his way to the retirement centre…”

  8. “Can you just get the cute little white girl from the commercials so I can have some witty banter with her?”

  9. “Yes sir, that’s right. He wants to rent me. He says he has an important meeting he needs me to be at.”

  10. “see, I’m not racist…I had my picture taken with one of them”

  11. “I’m so not racist that I’m including this guy in my Framily Plan.”

    “Donald that’s Sprint not AT&T”

    “I don’t know how these’s things work I’m old, get me some pudding!”

  12. srsly


  13. Senor Trout

    Yeah, I need help, this guy has said ‘Look, Darkie, I want a phone with a rotary dial. A ROTARY DIAL!’ five times already. What the fuck is a rotary dial?

  14. Hmm

    Ray Donovan pays that badly that Pooch Hall has to work at AT&T also?

  15. “Hello, this is Mark at store #4811 calling to activate a new number. The name? D. Sterling. Donald Sterling… Yup. Uh-huh. Exactly. Right–Craigslist, TMZ, 4Chan…the works. Put it everywhere. And turn off the ringer silence feature? Great.

    You’re all set Mr. Sterling.”

  16. “I don’t know why! He just keeps saying he doesn’t want a black phone…”

  17. “Hello boss? Yeah, I quit. I’m going to be Donald Sterling’s new gold digging bitch.”

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