superficial

  1. Eau de Douchè.. For when you want to bang your friend’s wife…

  2. freebie

    Please, button up. You look like you’re from the 80′s.

  3. Pickle Nose

    Nice, going for the “swashbuckler” look. Just a classic style that will never go out of fashion. You can’t see it, but in his right hand is a rapier.

  4. Qmak

    “I don’t secure shirts…or condoms.”

  5. Button your stupid shirt you big douche. You look like an idiot.

  6. Nobody's Second Cousin

    He’s missing a huge gold chain with a medallion.

  7. Smile. You’re going to be the father of a child you are having with your best friend’s wife.

  8. Pig.

    I have nothing funny to say about him any more.

    Oh, wait, I do.

    Pig with man-boobs.

  9. The number of fucks he gives about what anybody thinks about him = 0

    • Douchebags like him always do, they just pretend they don’t. No one buys multiple massive mansions, drives Rolls Royces etc etc unless they are trying to impress other people and care what they think.

      Warren Buffett drives a 20 year old Cadillac and lives in the same moderate home for over 30 plus years now, that is a dude that does not give a shit what other people think about him.

  10. The Pope

    Expensive clothes cannot hide the fact that he has a body exactly like Fred Flintstone.

  11. EricLR

    That reminds me, does anyone know if the Bee Gees are still together?

  12. I didn’t know they were bringing Riverdance back.

  13. I know he has tons of money and gets tons of ass and blah blah blah, but he puts effort into the way he dresses. And he fails. Miserably. He is a fat, hairy guy wearing clothes 2X too small that are open to the navel. He also hasn’t had a new haircut since he was born in 1928. I don’t care how much money you have, you’re a douche.

  14. Fuck, Robin Thicke has aged.

  15. Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk…I’m kind of a dick.

  16. Jenn

    He pays a little Indian boy to remove the top three buttons from all his shirts in case he gets a sudden urge to be tastefully dressed. I mean, it’s not happened so far, but you can’t be too careful.

  17. Mr. Mabius

    Say what you will, but Rosie O’Donnell is looking great these days.

  18. ruckus

    If you think his outfit is silly now, wait till you see him turn into the Green Lantern.

  19. That’s definitely a bodysuit that snaps under his scrote.

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