1. “Bruce! Bruce! Can I come out now?”
    “Get back in my dressing room, you little ginger dwarf!”

  2. Swearin

    “Look, kid, I’m satisfied with my current agent and manager. And by the way, you were playing a character on a TV show!”

  3. Joe Blow

    So, was this before or after the premiere?

  4. dontkillthemessenger

    Listen Kevin, just take one of my daughters out on a date… you can even choose which one.

    No hablo ingles.

  5. dmb

    That was wonderful. I think I love you Bruce.
    Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

  6. Hmm

    Is he there to shine Bruce’s shoes or is he so desperate for money he agreed to marry one of his daughters in exchange for a dowry?

  7. “Listen you little motherfucker. You look like shit. I shaved. Now you go fucking shave!”

  8. “Mr. Willis, I will be working with you today.”
    “That’s great kid. Don’t look me in the eye and work the shaft.”

  9. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    Bruce Willis & semi-carnally? Kev-inn Conn-ollyyyy.

  10. Allll right, thanks Kevin, I’ll call you……………………..

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