1. BP

    Why is Gerard Butler meeting with Yankees manager Joe Torre?

  2. “So now….every time I see one of those blue monstrosities my dick hurts…..-hey, it’s Lindsay Lohan!”

    “I’ll signal here over here.”


  3. Minky Wail

    “That chick is totally checking me out!”
    “You wanna split a large fries?”

  4. “I swear to God, if that asshole yells ‘Sparta!” one more time…”

  5. EricLR

    Oh yes, please, do tell me more about your latest goddamned musical!

  6. “Reply with ‘I will only 69 if the coke is fine’. It’ll show that I’m smart and serious. Very serious. Extremely serious. On second though, tell him that I’ll do whatever he wants for three lines and small poke of heroin. WHATEVER needs to be in all caps.”

  7. “I wish the paparazzi would leave so I can pick my nose.”

  8. The live action Bert and Ernie

  9. “Look future me, tell me straight up, do I knock up one of those chicks from Real Housewives?”

    “Yep. And a Hooters waitress, a female MMA fighter and a whole Eskimo village. You also get herpes.”

    “I was talking about the future, not the present.”

  10. cc

    ‘FUCK! I’m a Spartan and you beat me in another arm wrestle!’

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