superficial

  1. joe

    “This is the ugliest fucking car I’ve ever seen in my life.”

    “It’s a good car. The engine’s good.”

  2. “You can fix this, can’t you?”

    “Why, because I’m a fat Mexican?”

    “…Yeah”

  3. Josephus

    “So yeah, I’d say it looks like a problem with the hose. Might want to check the filters while you’re at it.”

    “Thanks, Jonah.”

  4. Sabado Gigante

    “Oh, this is nothing. I’ll show you a *real* busted tranny…”

  5. EricLR

    When a serious actor has some serious car trouble–he calls BEN AFFLECK!!!

  6. Batu Khan

    Can you help me? I don’t know what’s wrong but it’s making this scary sound like my wife when she saw the Blake Lively photos and it’s freaking me out.

  7. cc

    Whoa, Jennifer must be a shrew…he joined triple-A just to get out of the house.

  8. Frank Burns

    “Mr. Affleck, how much again did you pay for this car?”
    “$106,000 and a sex weekend with the wife.”
    “You know there’s supposed to be an engine in here, right?”
    “The guy said it was an invisible engine like from Wonder Woman’s plane. Does that mean I got ripped off?”
    ” . . . “

  9. tlmck

    Ben gets out of the family SUV and reminisces about the good old days he never had.

  10. Ah. Here’s your problem! You’ve got a fat guy leaning on your car.

  11. broduhjenner

    see? ben can’t do anything without matt damon.

  12. Look, Rob, I know your mom’s your and your sisters’ manager and everything, I just don’t think she’s much of a mechanic.

  13. “So that’s the part that makes it go?”

  14. I had no idea Rob Kardashian knew anything about motors.

  15. cc

    BTW, with his money shouldn’t have a mint HemiCuda instead of a clapped out Chevelle?

  16. Ben: “Jesus! You mean the TRUNK is where I was supposed to put it? It looks like a ketchup factory explosion!”
    Ed: “Yup. And then when you started the car THAT was what caused the problem. Everything got caught up in the belt here, here and here, and then the fan blades cut up most of the rest”
    Ben: “Shitshitshit! If Jen finds out I’m dead. What do I do?”
    Ed: “Don’t worry, I’ll have it cleaned up in about an hour. I get to keep the purse and wallet… I’ll burn what’s left of the dress… and then someone will have to make up a story to tell Mister Reynolds.”

  17. “Sorry man, I can’t fix this unless it’s in a Kragen parking lot.”

  18. dontkillthemessenger

    Ben and Chaz Bono?

    Jennifer Garner will punch him in the eye just for hanging out with people who used to have a pussy.

  19. “Just as I suspected Mr. Affleck. I have no idea what I’m doing…”

  20. ty

    Are you sure that isn’t Dayne Cook?

  21. “Yeah, looks like it’s the Fitzer valve.”

  22. crb

    Wait, where does the douchebag go?

    I think you’re supposed to stick your finger in the center of the distributor cap, Ben. That looks like douchebagtown to me.

  23. “Do you think I should have put gasoline in it?”

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