1. “That’s a great shot! Can you put her in the leather Coach satchel over there?

  2. Josephus

    “The sugar went up here, I saw it, I’ll testify, just please somebody help!”

  3. cajunhawk

    Get it Paris…I nose better. Nose…better. Get it?

  4. kravdan

    Baby “If I get contact herpes I’m gonna choke a bitch”

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    What a beautiful baby.

    Now stop squirming you little fucker, I’m trying to take a selfie.

  6. So she finally hit her baby crazy stage. This isn’t going to turn out well for anybody.

  7. Fortunately for the world, with a clucky Paris Hilton, it is notoriously difficult to get pregnant with blokes constantly finishing on your face.

  8. Slappy Magoo

    I guess someone asked her if she’s auditioning to be the world’s biggest douche so now she’s posing with babies for the packaging?

  9. JimBB

    …Now let’s meet today’s contestants on “Guess Whose Finger is Cleaner!”

  10. yourmom

    This is a public service reminder to please vaccinate your children.

  11. Swearin

    Snot expulsion in 3…2…1…

  12. Cock Dr

    Don’t even think about feeling sorry for Paris Hilton not finding the right fella & popping out a brat or 2 of her own to squeeze. Paris Hilton is a very rich women, if she wants a baby she can buy one ready made or pay a greedy man to go in there bareback & deliver his seed to the…um, garden.

  13. ultra

    if you feel a burning sensation, touch your nose.

  14. Dox

    “Is that… Tuna?”

  15. Sloppy Redneck

    Poor child ..

  16. BlackManUSA

    “This baby doesn’t have any nigger in it, right?”

  17. The baby smells Valtrex on her breath.

  18. “QUICK…someone grab her before she takes that baby home and eats it!”

    • VitoSpermBurp

      Hmmm…so she eats babies? Oh…okay. So, she eats babies…hmmm. Let me see…baby eater. Alright, alright…I think it’s getting funny. Wait…she…eats…babies. Right. Yep…THIS IS HILARIOUS!

  19. I hate to admit it, but she does look rather matronly……….

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