superficial

  1. Frank Burns

    “Hi, Orlando Bloom here. I know we’ve never met, but I just like to call people up and let them know I’m the guy screwing Miranda Kerr. Now, put your dad on the phone so I can tell him too.”

  2. EricLr

    Yep, just hanging out in my hightops with my pants sagging.

  3. mamamiasweetpeaches

    He was hot once. ONCE.

  4. Josephus

    “No, no, Lance, I swear it works. I just grow the hair out a little, tell Jessica it’s ‘for a role,’ and then I can bang Miranda Kerr.

    Well, maybe she wouldn’t if Orlando wasn’t always over at YOUR place, bud.”

  5. “Hello, is this Perms R Us?”

  6. “Yeah, Johnny Depp…I totally banged him. Could have any bird on the set. But because I’m O. Bloom, we sweated that mascara right off his face.”

  7. your mom

    “No, I love you more. No, you hang up first!”

  8. Gin&Tonic

    is it gay if my first thought was “wtf is going on with his shoes?”

  9. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    I read about this. ‘Noddy and the Stolen Shoes’

  10. Beaver Underground

    Can you hear me now? Now?

  11. broduh jenner

    “no, i’m telling you. they were a SIZE C and then they just disappeared right before my eyes. it was like black magic.”

  12. Henry

    Please, somebody tomahawk him.

  13. Visible Ink

    Yes, we do wash and detail large vehicles. What kind of car would it be? A pirate ship?! Damn it, Johnny!

  14. wildfungus

    Man Fred Savage looks old all of a sudden.

  15. Bigalkie

    ” Hi Penn Badgley.. Lets wear the same hipster clothes and freak everyone out”. ” We’re so cool ( squeal ) “.

  16. The Pope

    “Oh, Mr. Bruckheimer isn’t in? Well just tell him Orlando called. Again. Sooooo….any word on any upcoming pirate movies? Or anything involving a sword?”

  17. Bonky

    Yeah, a lot of people from all over tell me they are really bright and colorful, but I never got a call from the International Space Station.

  18. Bionic_Crouton

    “Hello Peter, This is Orlando. Are you sure you don’t have a part for me in the new Hobbit films?”

  19. cc

    Yup, I walked all ten blocks and not one shit kicking.

  20. tlmck

    “So Miranda, what are you wearing…”.

  21. MorganRoyale

    This just makes me sad. He used to be so cute.

  22. Fingergod

    “So yeah, my mum found this box from the 80′s in the basement with a pair of my old sneekers and my NES. Guess which one I kept… [pause] Guess again”

  23. rat_mort

    he’s more of a hobbit than an elf…

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