superficial

  1. Don Draper's Dad

    And then Leo says to me, he says

  2. yourmom

    “AND then he said, I could get any size yogurt I wanted. Fuck yeah, I went for the bucket! When it’s on Leo, you don’t fuck around with the dixie cup.”

  3. “… What? He killed himself!? Man, in my book, being cuckolded by Leo DiCaprio is the highest level of praise any man can get about their woman! For real, son, ‘kinda wish Leo cuckolded me! Hell, I would be IN THE ROOM, taking Polaroid and shit, some old-school pervy/Peeping Tom-level shit! You don’t killed yourself over that, man – you called TMZ and screamed ‘YOU’VE MADE IT, BROTHER!!!’”

  4. “Yeah, man, shave the beard, and lighten your hair, and don’t ever look at me when I smile at you. Oh, I’m getting a little hard already.”

  5. Short Round

    Great, now he just walks up to random people on the street and introduces himself: Hi, I’m Leo’s friend! Whose friend are you?

  6. He’s the epitome of the clingy girlfriend.

  7. Is he now hitting up random guys to be the “Leo” to his Jonah”

  8. ImDeluded

    Look, that’s a great story, Mr. Hill. But I really have to get back to my job as that annoying guy in the coffee shop who wants to tell everyone how he doesn’t even *own* a TV.

  9. rican

    “Seriously dude, stop following me”

  10. “Do these pants make me look fat?”

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