1. JimBB

    …Okay. So does anyone have any questions about my breasts?

  2. “Why, yes. I did used to be beautiful. Thank you very much for asking. Next question?”

  3. “I’m not dead on the inside, just hollow. Have you seen Tommy Lee’s penis?”

  4. “No, I can’t move my face out of this position. I haven’t been able to for at least two years. Next question?”

  5. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    “No, my boys haven’t seen the sex tape yet. Oh, really? Oh, shit…”

  6. Nothing gives you a firmer sense of your own mortality than the pin up girl of your teenage years slowly morphing into Bob Barker.

  7. She looks great.

  8. Saul

    “Why Yes, Tammy Faye Bakker was the inspiration for my make-up.”

  9. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

    I’m sorry, but you can’t polish a turd.

  10. “Miss Anderson what is the secret to having such white teeth ?”

  11. JESUS CHRIST! Hide the kids, she’s seeking souls!!!

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