superficial

  1. I’ve seen this before. I usually fast forward to the “action” scenes but this does seem familiar.

  2. Every white dad’s worst nightmare.

  3. The twist is that she’s the rapper and he plays cello.

  4. Short Round

    Few know this but I’m like the black Neo. Moving in mysterious ways, dodging restraining orders, charming schoolgirls. Would you like to see my “matrix”?

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    So then Omar and Brother Mouzone are going to walk up and shoot you in the face while you hold a Pepsi.

  6. fred

    “Unstoppable,” the life story of Lindsay Lohan. This looks like the dream sequence scene where Lindsay imagines she is a candy striper in a hospital being chased by an evil gang of gigantic penises.

  7. Voice of Reisling

    So, you take the rock, double-pump the outlet pass, crossover dribble, behind the back, then SLAM! Posterize the shit out of my boy Chris Bosh.

  8. “…and then, the zombies started dancing like this!”
    “Please stop. I told you five minutes ago that you didn’t need to act out every moment from Michael Jackson’s Thriller. “

  9. When do they start fucking? Porn doesn’t need a story, dammit.

  10. He’s like, “how long do I have to talk to her before she just comes back to my trailer and fucks me?”

  11. “this is how you need to hold it when I’m about to cum”.

  12. JimBB

    And so Dakota Fanning’s porn career begins.

  13. “…and then like this, understand?”
    “Ooooh, oh, yes, master Black Skarsgard!!!”

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