1. “Hi ladies. A few Viagra, and my penis pump, and it’s game on!”

  2. “Ladies, I’ve put more women through college than the United Negro College Fund… Just sayin…”

  3. Looks like someone just added a few items to his bucket list.

  4. The one on the left, but only from behind

  5. BP

    Why does Jack Nicholson like basketball so much?
    This guy hasn’t missed a game in about a century!
    He’s like a little fuckin Irish leprechan?

  6. Like sheep in front of a wolf.

  7. No man alive could resist that, and that’s why I got into jail to begin with. And now they’re telling me I’m crazy over here because I don’t sit there like a goddamn vegetable.

  8. Minky Wail

    “Wait’ll they get a load of me!”

  9. You know what? I wouldnt say this about most guys his age….but I think he COULD!

  10. “I’ll take the both of them, to go”

  11. “And I’ll have a shake with that.”

  12. lawn

    “You remind me of an old girlfriend.”

  13. John Travolta

    Man…the one on the right is hot. Holy crap! Yes…I’ve gone without for a week now. Time to pay a visit to the internet.

  14. As long as I do you both at once, you should be of legal age.

  15. Greenie

    What till they get a load from me.

  16. anonym

    Jack knows the better looking one….. the one on the right.

    she looks like she’s quiet in public, but kinky in bed.

  17. [in your best Jack Nicholson voice...] “I was just wonderin’ if you two young ladies, when you have a couple of hours, would be willing to teach an old man how to dance…”

  18. journalschism

    “I’ve got ties older than you gals. Want to see me use one to hold my dick up?”

  19. Miranda Veracruz DeLaHoya Cardinal

    PedoJack approves.

  20. Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC

    Did somebody call me?

  21. “Your mind powers that make women lift up their skirts does not work on me…Goddammit Jill you weak minded fool”

  22. Nonnie Moose

    Lindsay and Kelsey. Reason enough to go to every game all by themselves.

  23. Neal

    Heeeere’s Creepy!

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