1. The Winchester

    Why so serious?

  2. Ok come on… You’re trying to tell me her husband saw that and said “Yeah, I wanna put another baby in there?”… I’d be surprised if she didn’t have a sperm collection kit by their nightstand…

    • Colostomy Bag

      2 things: (1) Some men are wired like women: a female partner with a shitton of money sends their sexuality through the roof. (2) You don’t know what she allows him to do to her, or who else she allows to become involved.

  3. Pipedreamer

    Not shown: Princess Leia in a gold bikini laying next to her.

  4. Matty

    Voldemort lives!

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    My penis just ran out the door screaming.

  6. Crissy

    FRENCH FRIES!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! gimme gimme gimme!

  7. dooood

    …you know those booths at the carnival or at six flags where you gotta shoot a water gun to inflate a balloon?

  8. Urbanspaceman

    There are not enough bags to protect a man’s eyes from her.

  9. Who in the hell buys her books?

  10. 100% organic.

  11. I can smell her through my eyes.

  12. Seriously though…has she been checked for Downs Syndrome? Those eyes are getting farther and farther apart.

  13. rantatonne

    Oh look, Tori’s yelling.

  14. reyna

    God! she’s horrible!!!

  15. Great White Pygmy

    She was just shown the previous photo of Mark Wahlberg.

  16. Joe Blow


  17. Swearin

    Reporter: “So Tori, why did you decide to write another book?”

    Tori: “Because Daddy’s money just ran out! Waaaaaahhh!” *whines in Lucille Ball voice*

  18. DeucePickle

    The first sign of the Boner Apocalypse.

  19. Those lips are just disturbing.

  20. MarkM

    My God! I WANTED to leave a funny comment, but my brain just can’t seem to function anymore. The horror. The horror.

  21. Bonky

    It’s TORI, not FRANKENTITS !!!!!!

  22. One can only hope this photo was taken in the midst of her choking on her own disgustingness.

  23. Jess

    Divine is alive!!

  24. Johnny P!

    This is why Dean McDermott tries not to say anything remotely funny around her, and NEVER tells jokes at the dinner table.

  25. This is like one of those clown face holes at a miniature golf course.

  26. I just screamed out loud.

  27. catapostrophe

    Arguably the worst of Aaron Spelling’s productions.

  28. K-Tron

    Her next book will be called “MasturbaTORI Inhibitor”

  29. Ruckus

    Squirt the water cannon into her mouth, win a stuffed animal!

  30. BlackAndWhite.Minstrel

    Attack Amazon!!!

  31. Spleen

    At least there is no crater chest.

    • lifeiscruel

      Your right, not on her chest, it’s moved to the side of her nose! Who the hell is this plastic surgeon that did all this work on her? He outta be shot!

  32. Grand Poobah

    who is this tranny?

  33. MRF

    Ho ho ho…Toy — dook — thee a g— con thee bassa. Manchy kabook noonee Solo,makingsa lee ka bok bagthra… beeska chata wnow kong bantha poodoo. Ho ho ho ho.

  34. Chris

    Mindy from the Facts of Life looks remarkably the same after all those years.

  35. Admiral Ackbar: the West Hollywood years.

  36. H-dawg

    Lay off, I’m starving!!

  37. I wouldn’t trade faces with this chick for ALL the Spelling money… and I’m not that great looking.

  38. Batman


  39. Jason H

    JESUS CHRIST. Is she stuck like that?

  40. Just_As_it_IS

    “… To get to the other side!!! WAAAAAAAAA-HAHA-HAHAHAHAHA”

  41. bethy

    Plastic Surgery 360: The condition of ending up with the face you started with after undergoing every possible cosmetic procedure.

  42. The Brown Streak

    Those Goonies have my jewels!

  43. Sheppy

    This picture caused me to abort John Hamm’s baby :(

  44. cc

    Well, looks like I’ve got Hallowe’en all squared away early this year.

  45. If I had a son he would look like Tori.

  46. Bigalkie


  47. Someone left their Guy Fawkes mask on the heater, it seems.

  48. You tryin’ to tell me that’s not a thumb puppet?

  49. Jon Hex


  50. Jonas Grumby

    Yikes. She’s done everything wrong, and it looks purposeful. Needs to touch up roots, way too much lipstick in wrong color, ugly dress, and makeup that approaches spackling compound in how thick it is, too much junk on the eyes, chunky grandma jewelry. Good god, that’s just ugly all over.

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