1. dontkillthemessenger

    One man’s crusade to ruin titties and nipples for future generations.

  2. Cock Dr

    He must WANT us to comment on his moobs.

  3. Vanessa

    “My hair looks like a vajayjay and my breasts are pointing straight ahead, if I just purse my lips I’ll be working it hard.”

  4. YoMamma

    How cold IS it in London? He could cut glass with those things!

  5. Beeks

    You’d think 30 billion dollars would buy you a decent support bra.

  6. Son, I am disappoint. And cold.

  7. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    At least there’s a bit of him that can be proud

  8. Frank Burns

    Ole’ Simon need to start wearing a ‘Manziere’ . . . or is it a ‘Bro’?

  9. Yes, but is he vagazzled?

  10. Senator Dirtpants

    Missing from this picture: Black Microphone.

  11. fartbucket

    How the hell does this picture feature more nipple action than Katy Perry’s before this?

  12. eatme

    of all the douches, this is the granddaddy douche of them all

  13. Giving Katy Perry a run for her mo… damnit, fartbucket!

  14. Simon’s on the moob. I mean move.

  15. ri

    His nipples are so used to being uncovered they are actively trying to tear the shirt off his chest.

  16. The Brown Streak

    I wonder if Randy Jackson is into white people with big tits.

  17. Those are looking bigger. Did you get implants, Simon?

  18. cc

    Oh just pierce them already!

  19. Bigalkie

    Hi Katie Perry, I mean Simon.

  20. Nice rack, Jessica Simpson.

  21. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

    Wow! Chaz Bono is looking great after shaving that beard and losing weight!

  22. Grand Dragon

    Better titties than Sarah Jessica Parker anyway

  23. UniversalUgly

    Hey, Nicole Kidman isn’t leaking anymore!

  24. Raoul

    “Game on, Hoff!”

  25. Blech

    I think his tits are bigger than mine.

  26. spartacus

    I call MOTORBOAT!

  27. JustSaying

    it’s called a Wonderbra, look into it!

  28. Michelle

    Just like spandex for women; these shirts need a PSI rating for men.

  29. brit

    I bet Kate Hudson’s green with envy

  30. dinosaurland

    People are outraged over public breastfeeding, and yet this is somehow acceptable?

  31. Come at me, brah!

  32. Clown Shoes

    Sweater puppies redux.

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