Data has not aged well.
“You’re my friend. What does my finger smell like?
I’ll give you a hint: It’s your wife’s vagina”
The Taint was in the middle, which one would you like?
I wish someone would attack him just to sew his shirt closed.
Simon, just because you won the jowl-off doesn’t mean you have to gloat. It’s rude
I didn’t wash after using the Loo.Lick it…LICk it…LICK IT! LiCK THE FUDGEY GOODNESS!
See how far I can stretch this booger?
“My eyes are up here.”
“My balls itch.”
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Simon Cowell at the Arts Club in London. (March 11, 2014) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN