superficial

  1. Not pictured: The poor woman he beat when she overcooked one of those dishes…

  2. Looks like some fried chicken, greens and is that hog jowls?

    • Alex

      I’d say you are correct on all three accounts. He wants so badly to fit the stereotype. Damn Bruno Mars fucking it all up.

  3. Frank Burns

    “Got this recipe from my Nana! She wouldn’t give it up after 20 minutes of lower body work, but one kick to the head and she spit it right out! Along with her dentures! But hey, that’s what love is all about.”

  4. Cock Dr

    More proof he was meant to be a short order fry cook.

  5. noakley

    With that health food, looks like he’s prepping for Kim K coming over for dinner and a movie.

  6. He’s just about to add the can of whoopass. Or is that what greens are?

  7. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    What kind of animal beats a battered woman? Battered chicken.

  8. Deacon Jones

    (Two scientists in top secret research facility)

    “Dr. Peters! Look! This one is acting like he’s cooking, how cute!”

  9. Like sad, lonely people everywhere, he’s just cooking his all meals for the week.

  10. Chris

    “Taste this and tell me if that bitch under-cooked it….. Yep.. What’d I tell you.. . Ima beat that bitches ass! Call my mom and tell her to bring me some real food.. Ima be back in a minute.. Rhiannnaaaa!!!!”

  11. stucco

    Continued proof that Chris just cant stop battering.

  12. “Tastes so good it makes me wanna smack my Mama…or Rhianna, or any biatch.”

  13. Why would people care to see a picture of Chris Brown frying food? Oh wait – it’s Twitter. Never mind.

  14. Notre Dame fans must be as happy about this pic as Jews are about Tila Tequila.

  15. Oh, that’s the handle. I thought he punched a hole in his microwave.

  16. j/k

    frying chicken in a pan with a fork? Nothing complements a full sleeve like pock marks from flying hot grease.

    Also he is the only minority in the world (USA) without a deep fryer.

  17. El Jefe

    Getting his prison cooking skills up I see.

  18. Johnny

    Bitch! Don’t make me slap you!

  19. bonerspunk

    I’m surprised he isn’t cooking up some sausage?

  20. “So, Chris, I was looking at some pictures of you online. You’re a big fan of battery I see.”
    “WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY YOU BE HATIN’ ON MY SHIT???!! ALL YOU HATERS GOTTA FUCK OFF! I GOTTA GRAMMY BITCH?! WHAT YOU GOT???!!! NOTHIN YOU FUCKING PUSSY???!!”
    “Whoa, I was just talking about you cooking some chicken…see?”
    “Oh, I…YOU FUCKIN RACIST! YOU THINK ALL BLACKS EAT FRIED CHICKEN??!! I’M CALLIN NAACP ON YO ASS!!”
    “I’m black. This is an interview for Jet magazine…”

  21. The Pope

    Funny, I thought he’d be a Penn State fan.

  22. jeffiner

    this pic was taken just seconds before he flung hot grease in some bitch’s face.

  23. JesusCan'tHitACurveball

    “You gotta try my cutlet. Tenderest you ever ate. You’ll never guess my secret.”

  24. cc

    I can beat a woman in a car and I can beat her in the kitchen too!

  25. Originally he had a “ND Women’s Basketball” cap, but he doesn’t like women that are hard to beat.

  26. The Brown Streak

    “I call this dish Bacon with black eyed Rhianna…i mean peas.”

  27. Chris Brown likes his chicken battered, not breaded.

  28. i wonder what he uses to tenderize the meat

  29. GunOwningDem

    I’m more shocked by that lame ass kitchen. You don’t have to watch a lot of cooking shows to know that looks like the setup out of a cheapass “newly refurbished” apartments near some highway overpass.

    Chris needs to put the food down and find some woman with money he can leach off of.

  30. Difficult Chris Brown

    “SUP Y’ALL!! I’M JUST LIKE YOU!! I PRETEND TO BE COOKING BUT REALLY IM THINKING ABOUT SUCKING DICK!! WORD!”

  31. Princess Consuela Banana Hammock

    ‘Dis is wha I call ‘Murder Pie’! It got aaaallllzz da rite stuff like beef booty n fried pigs ears! Bobby Flay ain’t got nutting on me!’

  32. Holy Moley

    People ask me, Hey Chris, how do you like your eggs, Rihanna,.. ooh.. um.., i mean Beaten

  33. on

    Home Made Corn Bread

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