superficial

  1. Nope. Not even going to touch this.

    That’s what I think Charlize was saying.

  2. Hugh Evers

    The unfortunate look of a man after 5 Viagra and Charleze Theron touching your dick… and still nothing.

  3. From the look on his face, they’re rehearsing a scene from “I Am Sam 2″ – younger blonde woman teaches Sam how to “drive stick.”

  4. “Greg, honey. Is it supposed to be this soft?”

  5. All the way home he held a grudge—but the safety belt, it wouldn’t budge.

  6. George P. Burdell

    Can you imagine the way I felt? I couldn’t unfasten her safety belt!

  7. EricLR

    Good luck, darling. That hasn’t worked since Madonna got super-herpes on it.

  8. “Goddamn it, you dick, you never backed away from anything in your life! Now fight! Fight! Fight! Right now! Do it! FIGHT, GODDAMNED IT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIIIIGHT!”

  9. “I don’t understand how EACH of the balls managed to get knotted up with it.”

  10. Oh man! How’d you get the beans above the frank?

  11. Vlad

    No, you idiot! There isn’t a key! Just put your foot on the brake pedal and push this button! Jesus Christ, what did I ever see in you?

  12. “I can’t work with this…It’s dead wood!”
    “Speaking of dead wood, did you know that there was thousands of homes reduced to dead wood after the hurricane?”
    “Shut the fuck up Sean!”

  13. “How do you expect me to do anything with that as long as that damned steering wheel is in the way?”

  14. journalschism

    HIM: I fucked ScarJo in the back of this car. Scar-fucking-Jo!
    HER: Yeah? I fucked you and I now my soul is scarred. Keys.

  15. “holy crap…It does have ‘Madonna was here’ carved on the taint…how long has that been there?”

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