superficial

  1. Are we going to sit idly by when pedo-bear makes his selection????

  2. Slappy Magoo

    Make-a-Wish Meets Build-a-Bear meets What-a-Douche.

  3. So that’s what happened to the kid’s hair, I guess.

  4. Gene Simmons is alright in my book. The guy is sober, a kick ass business man and he’s banged thousands of women.

    That was pretty much my life plan when I started out, it just didn’t work out that way.

  5. I never knew Pedo bear was a KISS fan. But I guess it does make sense.

  6. Sick kids love KISS.

  7. JimBB

    “Well, we have some good news and bad news about your son. The good news is that we’ve cured the cancer. The bad news is that he now has several unidentified venereal diseases.”

  8. Gene Simmons vs Miley Cyrus tongue off!

  9. Dear Santa,

    I am a young boy unfairly dying from a horrible disease. As this is possibly my last year of life, please bring me a football helmet with the logo from an 80′s band that I’ve never heard of.

    Timmy

  10. Gene Simmons and Pedo Bear, who the hell is the person responsible for putting this fuckery together, what were they thinking?

  11. Senor Trout

    Just off-camera: Gene’s assistant, Square-enabled iPhone in hand, waiting to collect the $129.99 from each boy for the helmets. ‘I’ll autograph it, young man,’ Simmons was heard to say, ‘but thats a $40 upcharge…half-off, you know, for you kids.’

    • schmidtler

      and hey, if the cancer treatments don’t work out, I can sell you a nice KISS coffin for only $2,999!

    • The sad thing is it probably did go down like this. This scum sucking piece of shit is the most money grubbing, avaricious asshole on the planet.

  12. “Is it too late to change my path or am I doomed to this fate you show me, oh Ghost of Christmas Future?” Miley wailed.

  13. Little Tongue

    “Please! Mr Simmons! This is not a lollypop nor a glan, it’s a kid’s head for heaven’s sake!”

  14. THEFUCKISTHAT?
    -boy on the right

  15. Vlad

    I shall lick the cancer out of you!

  16. The only thing Gene Simmons has ever created that I actually like is his insanely tall and surprisingly down-to-Earth son Nick.

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