Paparazzi: Mr. Statham! Please re-enact your most moving, skillfully acted, many-layered character for us!
Statham: Yeah! Fuuuckin’ yeaaahhh! *pant!*gasp!*
Guy in Background: Shit! It’s like bein’ at the movies for free!!!

“…and this was the last photo on the memory card we removed from the victims rectum”

When is this guy going to finally be in a movie where he’s kicking ass and driving fast ?

This just goes to show you that even a trip to Starbuck’s can get a good cardio pump.

“My *pant* girlfriend! *pant* Anybody seen my *pant* hot girlfriend *pant* around here?

Injected with a serum. Only antidote; the EggMcMuffin. Nearest McDonalds a mile away and only five minutes until they stop serving breakfast.

“Help! Stallone is a block behind me and chasing me with another script!”

That’s just him going from point A to point B. Even when grocery shopping, the Statham never stops stathamming the shit out of whatever he’s doing.

“you’ll pay me to do what now? fucking A!!”

Guess you guys did not hear he was taking over The Predator franchise from Arnold and he is practicing his

“Run, get to the Choppah” lines.

Run, run, run, as fast as you can, you can’t catch me “I’m the Pancake Man”.

Wankers!

“Hey, Asshole…come back with my Five-Dollar Foot Long!”

Someone told him they saw a guy down the street holding a script for a lousy action movie.

I love him. His voice……is enough for me.

I want his baby batter all up inside man manhole!