1. “I’d like the pool vacuumed while I’m gone. “

  2. “…and then you wouldn’t believe it, one of your kind injected the stuff right into my face, and I’m now the stunning beauty you see today.”

  3. “No, really, I’ll give you a Toro AND a Honda-ride on!”

  4. Cock Dr

    I hope her desperation for a boyfriend doesn’t lead her down a dark path.

  5. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    This is why El Chapo only visits Hollywood when he has to.

  6. BenDoverman

    I heard you guys work for food right?

  7. Ebdeluxe

    “So Tony I’ll tie a yellow ribbon around your old oak tree”

  8. farting old man's wife

    Where you going sexy, I need a boyfriend and you are IT!!!

  9. Frank The Duck

    This is great, I don’t have to go by Home Depot anymore…

  10. it had to be said

    All that, and a BBBJTCCIM for only $300 . . .

  11. dontkillthemessenger

    In her defense, Renee adopted him from the same place Sandra Bullock got her kid.

  12. cc

    ‘Papers please! Oh wait, this isn’t Arizona!’

  13. andreabeth

    She must have offered him a Green Card in return for sex.

  14. Contusion

    Poor Lou Diamond Phillips.

  15. squishy

    Ummmm…purposely not listening to a friendly mexican??

  16. Johnny P!

    “I’m serious! The paparazzi are out there, and I need to make my famous ‘sour-face smile’! C’mon, hombre, ya GOTTA have a lime on you!”

  17. HoraleGuey

    “So do you want me to leave you at the same spot I picked you up at Home Depot?”

  18. Minky Wail

    Chuy looks a lot taller without the hat.

  19. wallee

    so that was 2 dozen red chile tamales and 3 dozen green chile

  20. SlippyDippy

    Just stand there for 1 minute, that’s all. Jesus, why did Beards-R-Us have to send me the only gay mexican on the planet?

  21. The Brown Streak

    “No no no! It’s just a Taco Bell. You don’t have to run for the border any more.”

  22. tlmck

    “Who is this crazy drunk white bitch?

  23. “Put my bags in the car would you?
    You speaky English?”

  24. “I’ll have my chauffer drive you back to Home Depot.”

  25. Dave Mustaine

    Cheech is looking good!

  26. Radadoon

    I swear, without the mustache you would look just like Kenny Chesney!

  27. When all else fails, go for the gardener. Any gardener.

  28. Oh Hell No

    LMAO… You guys are the funniest racist pigs ever!!

  29. Steelerchick

    Sorry Renee this guy won’t make Bradley jealous, however the cab driver might.

  30. “Whoa, Poncho. What’s your hurry? Your right hand is lubed up plenty, so you just keep those three fingers moving.”

  31. So she’s rebounding from Bradley Cooper with her landscaper? George Lopez might want to hit her up.

  32. noodle

    “I’ll give you $50 to mow my lawn…or $300 to watch one of my movies!”

  33. “Seriously, you were soooooo good in Napoleon Dynamite”

  34. wtf

    Soooo fucking racist everyone maybe you are jealous that a latin guy dates her and all of you are a bunch of scums, good for nothing. You cant mow your own lawn, drive a cab, work in home depot, and by the way dontkillthemessenger in USA you gave your own kids for adoption too, so maybe he is your brother.

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