1. Rebecca

    Cher said it best “she’s a total Monet”

  2. Is that Snooki or Sandra Rimato from Property Virgins?

  3. dontkillthemessenger

    Christina Aguilera needs to chill with the tanning.

  4. Cock Dr

    What man in his right mind would want those fingernails anywhere near his dick?

  5. even her fingernails are fat

  6. it had to be said

    Nice tits . . . oh shit. Stupid scroll bar.

  7. cc

    She doesn’t look very busy. Or am I just an optimist.

  8. arnieblackblack

    I’d hit it. She’s totally my guilty wank material. Those tits reawesome

  9. Venom

    I can’t lie, the little midget has been looking semi-decent lately.

  10. She needs a booster seat.

  11. MarkM

    Not much of a book signing without books or pens, is it?

  12. All I know of the Jersey Shore is what I see on websites but out of all of them, when she’s sober, she seems like she has the best head on her shoulders.

    • MrsWrong

      I only see websites too, but if I had to pick someone with a head on their shoulders from MTV it would be ANY whore from 16 and pregnant before these disease-ridden tools.

  13. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    ‘Confessions of a Guidette’ shares something with “Up from Slavery” by Booker T. Washington. You could use them both to prop up a table.

  14. kimmykimkim

    The fan shaped nail, or the Pauly D Hair shaped nail thing has got to go. They’re like itty bitty shovels, which would make sense if she were a cokehead, but she’s a drunk.

  15. Take Me To Funky Town

    She’s really an analog for Eric Cartman. Think about that for a moment. Even though he is a complete self absorbed asshole, If Eric Cartman were to disappear from South Park, the show would not be worth watching. Snookie is pretty much like that too. The rest of the cast members should be kissing her ass nine ways to Sunday. In spite of the fact that she may be the worst human being in the world, her weird charisma carries the show. The others are boring drones. If she were to leave the show, the ratings would tank and the show would be off air in no time.

  16. TomFrank

    Looks like someone’s taking a leaf from Courtney Stodden’s “three push-up bras” technique.

  17. Perplexity

    Book signing? Did someone just hand her the Yellow Pages and a crayon?

  18. AnnaDraconida

    Those fingernails look like the paddle tails of miniature gay beavers.

  19. The Brown Streak

    Signing books must be hard work with all that sweat pouring down her chest.

  20. Sin

    Nothing to write with….did she eat all the Crayons?

  21. Not pictured: Usher

  22. Xeo

    She’s not even Italian. She is from Chile. Poser

  23. tlmck

    Sitting at the kids table.

  24. Steelerchick

    She’s at a book signing but all I can hear is crickets chirping.

  25. Debutante

    I know most of the guys are focused on her boobs, but her face looks different somehow.. Did she get botox or something?

  26. tide

    I was like mmmmmhhhh then i was her fingernails

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