In the bag: Kelsey’s balls.

World’s most frightening dildo.

Cool cheek implants, bro!

Nice rings. I think they’re from the Frasier Residual Checks Collection.

And THAT, people, is why she had IBS.

You can always spot an awesome surgeon when the cheek implants slide over the orbital bone as the neck turns.

Awesome work, Dr. Jennings. (hrumph hrumph)

No wonder she has irritable bowel syndrome.

Cracks are starting to appear…

“Hot List Party?” I’m assuming someone at TV Guide has a good sense of humor or is a barely functioning heroin addict.

Uh oh Kelsey, just one more ring until she becomes The Mandarin!

Love the dong case. No one wants a dirty faux-cock.

It this case is her ” little golden shovel”. Billionaires Beware!

Why the fuck would she keep his last name?! I thought they hated one another.

Guess she got all his cheap costume jewelry in the divorce.

The Felicity Huffman is strong with this one.

What’s the kind of oil you put on a baseball glove to keep the leather soft and supple? No reason…

Orange you glad you left Kelsey?

She just needs one more gem to complete the Infinity Gauntlet.

No, ya old bag.

I love her leather jacket

“Well, I like that it’s so big, black, and has metal studs. But the studs will have to be bigger, pointed, and sharp to get me off. I’m a little “desensitized” down there.”