superficial

  1. Kato Kaelin, Renaissance Festival Britney, and Chicken Kid. It may not be cohesive, but it’s original.

  2. Lemme guess – Larry Bi… ah, I’m not starting that shit again.

  3. All kidding aside, it looks like she’s got her figure back and good for her.

  4. All I see is big tits and a Scottish hobo holding a weird-looking chicken.

  5. “Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”

  6. DeucePickle

    Ah yes, the first Thanksgiving, where Pocahontas shows William Wallace how to celebrate our country’s freedom by roasting a chicken and eating it’s delicious cornbread innards.
    I love history !

  7. stucco

    The steel belted corset not only holds back her body flab, it also holds her back so she doesn’t attempt to deep fry and devour their child.

  8. The baby is used as a prop to explain Buffalo Wings to her

  9. Doctor_Joystick

    If there was any doubt that she wanted to eat that baby, I’m pretty sure this clears it up.

  10. Cock Dr

    Jess looks good! Smart call on incorporating a leather corset into this year’s costume.

  11. I get it…She’s kind of a “c” and her baby is a chicken…so that makes it Chicken of the Sea!

  12. The Royal Penis

    Wow, it didn’t take long for fatso to make her husband an egg laying chicken.

    Hey douchebag, the real braveheart would have beat her over her head until she held the damn baby herself. Btw, Garth wants his wig back.

  13. zomgbie

    one of these things is not like the other…

  14. Jerkbox

    Look at ye big ‘ol titties! Woooohoo!

  15. She looks like a Viking bar wench. She’s dangerously close to being attacked by Skarsgard.

  16. Brooke

    Holy hell Jessica Simpson looks so good I didn’t recognize her. And I love her hair. I get that corsets are magic but still, I’m impressed.

  17. “Captain, between the corset and the Spanx, I canna take much morrre o’ this!” – Jessica’s left breast

  18. anonymous

    Gotta admit she does look good here but I still remember the Hulk sized legs and calves from just last week.

  19. Jade

    Huge congratulations to Jessica for leaving the bovine order and rejoining the human order. She looks great!

  20. cc

    I am sure that child’s chicken costume caused no end of confusion.

  21. EricLr

    THEY CAN TAKE OUR LAND! BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR….CHICKEN?

  22. Throb the Wonder Mule

    I don’t care what anyone says, she looks DELICIOUS !
    HUGE jabos,etc..
    Cute baby, loser LUCKY bastard sperm donor…..

  23. Whoa girl.

    She so wants to be the new Tori Spelling.

  24. anonym

    Hurry up and take the fuckin picture.

    I can’t breathe in this outfit.

  25. El Jefe

    Unhook the corset and the Spanx underneath it and then we can talk about what she really looks like. Since this was a photo she sent our too and not one taken by a third party, I am going to assume that a liberal amount of Photoshop may have been applied to this.

  26. Tron

    Lets hope he’s not a chicken fucker.

  27. the great mulah

    Cyrus family inbreeding leads to chicken babies?

  28. BbyBluThghHghs

    Courtney Stodden the Fatter.

  29. Bishop Arlmo Schlongfooster

    Somebody needs spanked here, but not sure who

  30. What a fucking beauty! Jessica looks good, too.

  31. Taylor Swift, with Guy Pearce as Billy Ray.

  32. Mick

    Who is the hot-lookin dude with her?

  33. I must say, I’ve never really been a fan of Simpson, but aside from the makeup (which just looks odd to me in this picture), she’s looking pretty damned good. Part of it is the corset, but her arms, neck, and thighs look good too, so it’s not just that.

  34. Allison Wunderlan

    Why is Tori Spelling’s husband in this picture?

  35. duh!

    Is this chicken what I have? Or is it fish?

  36. Oh! Is this one of those pictogram type things? Like you say what each picture is and altogether they make a phrase? I love these!
    Ok…
    Scottish Rooster Hag?
    Harpy Tartan Cluck?
    Plaid Chicken Barmaid?
    Messy Blowjob Hen!

    Fuck I give up. Just tell me what it is.

  37. Mallory

    That baby has the most darling face….

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