Wonder Triplet Activate!
We shall be known as the fellowship of the douchebag.
Foreplay before a circle-jerk
“I just want to thank both of you, for loving me in a way no woman has ever before….”
Fellowship of the Cock Ring.
Stumpy, Lumpy and Grumpy.
“No, no. That’s not me. HE likes heroin. I, as in ME, I like cock.”
“I know I am only 5 feet tall and weigh 90 pounds and carry a purse, but I swear, I will kick his ass for what he did to you”
That’s the lamest three-way I’ve ever seen.
“It’s agreed. If those mean boys mess with one of us, they mess with all of us.”
There’s something very serious being discussed here. Probably involving man bags.
It’s funny (sort of…my university years were in a less enlightened time) but on campus those were colloquially known as ‘fag bags’.
“It’s not a purse. It’s a satchel.”
Welp, that settles that.
“Jeff, we need to talk. This intervention is because we care. Look at yourself, man. You’ve fallen apart. Look at how loose and comfortable your jeans are! Did you even have to force your way into them? Jesus Christ. And where are your ironic glasses? Do you even own a pair? Your satchel was obviously made after 1950. It’s just… It’s just too much to bear. If you can’t accept our offer of help today then we just can’t be part of your life anymore.”
Elijah Wood in West Hollywood…you don’t say.
Messenger bag massage circle.
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