superficial

  1. “Warmer. A little higher and to the right.”

  2. “ohhh nooooo…. You’re not gonna get me with that one again.
    I will not stick that in my mouth….”

  3. “Sorry Mr. Cruise, we don’t have a microphone stand that short.”

  4. Nonny Moose

    “I’ve had bigger…”

  5. Cock Dr

    Needs more cosmetic surgery.

  6. zomgbie

    *obligatory jack reacharound comment*

  7. Smapdi

    “Tom Cruise at an audition for “Sharting: The Al Roker Story”.

  8. That movie looks awesome.

  9. tidbit

    I learned everything I know from Kim Kardashian. Now, get that thing over here.

  10. Tom Cruise is Jack Reacharound

  11. contusion

    “Well, what I can tell you about the movie is that it sucks. The plot is stupid, the main chick attorney character is just dumb, the Robert Duvall character is a cliche of every Robert Duvall character ever created, and the storyline is more predictable than an episode of Honey Boo Boo. So, yeah, it’s pretty awesome.”

    • tod

      The movie is actually pretty good and im not even a tom cruise fan. Excellent car chase scene. I’ve never seen Robert Duvall play a Hillbilly from Ohio that owns a rifle range either…. I didn’t find it all that predictable other than that the good guy wins in the end…… but aren’t all movies like that?

  12. “In-my-next-movie-I-play-a-throat-cancer-survivor. I-decided-to-be-all-Method-about-it-and-have-my-own-larynx-removed.”

  13. B&WMinstrel

    Even the microphone is wearing lifts

  14. “Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

  15. Horrible Pun Master

    Don’t be selfish Cruise, don’t give just Jack a reacheround.

  16. The Royal Penis

    He never ages, he’s like a gay Dick Clark.

  17. Definately needs to enroll in the Kim K. School of Mic Play.

  18. “I play Jack Reacher. A guy who likes to drive fast cars and beats guys.”

  19. Fishballs

    Cruise gets into character for his upcoming biopic, The Ed Grimley Story.

  20. Shlong Dong

    Good actor imo.

  21. Jill

    Jack Reacheround.

  22. cc

    ‘Talk to the stoma.’

  23. Tom Cruise: Don’t mind me I had a lot of fruit and cheese on the flight , so I’m a bit constipated . So your question on alien probing ?

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