Sir, you are gonna have to pay for two seats on this shuttle.

DRIVER, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! Get me to food, NOW!!

He’s the dingo that ate the baby.

Looks like he’s gone 50% Kevin Smith with his wardrobe…he’s only a hockey jersey away from total acceptance.

“What do you mean I got to pay for two seats?”

The only guy I know that gets his own private short bus.

Don’t act that way. Whomever smelt it, dealt it.

Climbing up on Jonah Hill
Boy, those man-tits were a fright
Libido ebbing, I’ve got douche chills
Gut had me screaming into the night
He was something to observe
Came in close, I had a choice
Stretch marks repulsed my every nerve
His sweat glistens, I’m less than moist
Fat rolls defy imagination
Would rather lick the floor at Penn Station
My self-esteem going doom doom doom
“Son,” I said “Fuck this shit,
I wonder if Chris Brown would take me home?”

“I want to go home. The toilets flush counter-clockwise here and my ass only shits clockwise.”

Reminds me of a line from Titanic, “Goldberg right ahead!”