“Would you like…..multiple STDs, my dear?”

“Listen, whatever your name is, I will literally choke you if you mention the word marriage… Now, BJ?”

“You want me to take you up front and do that “King of the world” thing from Titanic?…No.

“Did you just say I was too old to wear my cap backwards?”

He looks like he’d rather be swimming with Jude Law.

“I can do with my property as I so desire.”

“Little bit of sour cream and chives… Yeah, you’ll do for Jonah.”

“I’m just measuring your throat, ’cause I’m gonna reem it soon with my Titanic !”

The ghost of David Carridine is back as Leonardo Dicaprio in the new millennium version of “Titanic auto-erotic asphyxiation.”

“Man, those Peter North exercises actually work. Please, let me get that.”

“So nice to meet you. Now suck me off before I throttle you!”

“Let’s inspect those teeth now…”