1. An evident beacon of light for moderately attractive walking pair of boobs who’ll be irrelevant within the year.

  2. That dude is so white he looks photoshopped into the picture…
    And yes I should probably have a conversation with my parents…

  3. Moo Cow Hunter

    This picture is a LIE!

  4. Toe Jam

    So not right.

  5. ThisWillHurt

    “Oh my gawd! This is way better than that time Terry Farrell kissed a girl on ‘Deep Space Nine!’”

  6. That’s the most “don’t you wish you were me (yup, I’m tapping that)” face I’ve ever seen.

  7. cagster

    Wait a second…isn’t she married to an 86 year old Texan billionaire?

  8. Sebastian: “Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down.”

  9. When the dude has the babe on his arm and is still eyeballing the cameraman during the shoot, you should probably consider casting any of the other guys in the background.

  10. Lizardface

    I don’t know who he is. Is he dying? Is this like some sort pervy make-a-wish gig?

  11. Make a Wish Foundation strikes again.

  12. tlmck

    The look of a guy who knows she’s way out of his league.

  13. He is going to get beat up in the parking lot and have his girlfriend stolen.

  14. What’s Dollar Store Marilyn doing with the chimney sweep?

  15. Worlds luckiest bastard.

  16. anonymous

    Considering where that hand is placed, it looks like he had trouble finding where her hips waist/hips are too.

    She’s pretty much head, tits and legs.

  17. Skip ridiculous

    This is beyond the pale!

  18. Patch

    Ohhhhh, over there, is that an advertisement for the Kroll Show?

  19. Mr. C

    She’s sloppy, untonned and overrated. Not to mention boring, dimwitted and dry. She on 14 of her 15 min.

  20. Are you able to arrive at that conclusion based on the numerous interviews you’ve done with her, or perhaps through post-coital pillow talk?

  21. All I see are her glorious breasts.

  22. Confused in Cucamonga

    The fact that some of you think it’s even debatable whether Kate Upton is hot or not (she is, you fools, she is) makes me very concerned for the future.

    Do you people even like girls?

  23. Sliver

    He doesn’t have a page on wikipedia, therefore he does not exist. I do find his geekiness rather sexy, oddly.

  24. Neal

    FATALITY!…Sebastian wins!

  25. Tom Cruise's Magical Penis

    The look of a man who knows this isn’t going to last. Which is still a better look then the look of a man who knows it’s never going to happen.

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