1. The Dude

    “Hang on I need a better shot to submit to The Chive.”

  2. Trying out the new razor blade app.

  3. BP

    Why is he tazering the nanny?

  4. “Here, help me angrily check my messages while I angrily walk our dogs.”

  5. Bonky

    If you crop the upper half it looks like he’s got her in a head lock and he’s trying to slit her throat.

  6. Hugh Jass


  7. She’s given birth. He no longer needs her. Publicly slitting her throat seems a little much, though.

  8. “I think its a girl”
    “I’m going to *fucking kill you*…I hate women!”
    “…the cameras..”
    “I’m just kidding. Im calling Dominos.”

  9. “I will cut yer fuckin’ throat, bitch!”

  10. “Tell me this one is not going to be a slut”.

  11. The Pope

    “Why won’t that little pig answer her damn phone?!”

    “Alec…she’s only a week old.”

  12. The kid’s in the papoose? It looked as if she was pregnant again.

  13. crb

    You mention me getting my ass kicked by Sean Penn again, and I will fu**ing End you, bitch!

  14. I have always thought that getting her pregnant must have been incredibly fun!

  15. Cleavage shots. Catch ‘em while they last.

  16. “That should be perfect. Now, I can send a pic of me and my four bitches to all of my brothers”.

  17. CtF

    He’s got a box-cutter! Nobody should’ve let him watch that scene in Breaking Bad!

  18. anonym

    someone photoshop a knife in that hand.

    You know he’s the type to use a knife.

  19. “Dang it! Where are the Paparazzi when you need them? Oh, FINE…I’ll take the picture myself!”

  20. heey

    He really looks like an old man with his little lap-dogs, that is just supposed to be living next door to this much younger woman, a single mom.
    There is just so much SCREAMING, ”Not A Couple”, about them.

  21. “give me your money or I will CUT YOU”
    “please, just do what you want with me, but don’t hurt my baby”

    “dammit Hilaria, that gross baby gut is why we have to role play for me to get a boner in the first place!”

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