“I know, right? People keep hiring me.”
“I’m Bwat Myan”
“I was yah fackin’ Daredevil, now I’m gonna be yah fackin’ Batman! Homos!”
“Jen, I swear I did not bang that Emily chick, okay?”
“and then I was like: “you want me to make a cameo, as Robin’s close friend or something?”, but then Zack Snyder said: “No, Ben, I still think you’re the brand new hope for cinema. You’ll be Batman.”
and then I was like: “What’s wrong with this people? Can’t they see I can’t act?”
I am Batman! How you like them apples?
The last time he had that expression, he was yelling “BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE ON THE PILL, JENNIFER!!”
“Ya, I’m gonna be freakin’ Bahtman in dis Sooperman verzuz Bahtman mooovie. But it’s a whole lot of wicked-hawd, lawng years after da last mooovie and Caht Woman and I have just had our 5,000th ahrgument about why I didn’t just shoot Bane in da face when I first fauwt him. That way, my back wouldn’t be actin’ up all da time and I could do stuff like take owwwt da bat-gahrbage ‘n’ shit”.
“What? Is Bat Devil such a bad idea?”
“Oh, FALLON! I thought my agent said “Kimmel”. Now I get why nobody is laughing”
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