1. “Unfair to payor but not to payee. But you’re gonna pay it, or else! “

  2. “I want a medium rare t-bone and a bottle of whiskey… And there better be 5 vaginas ready for me to kick!”

  3. that’s…umm…that’s not really a phone, is it?

  4. “I’ve brought my daughter a satchel of “cookies”. Oprah better let me up there!”

  5. EricLR

    Yeah, well you tell TMZ that I’m on the verge of getting a Lindsay scoop…just as soon as I can find out where she lives. And tell them I’ll also need an advance to buy a crowbar.

  6. ThisWillHurt

    “Reschedule my vagina kicking to 2:30. I have a drunken-wall-punching-fit at 1 and I don’t want them to conflict.”

  7. “I swear I will CUNT PUNT YOU!”

  8. Into women’s wallet he just stole off a table: “it’s Lohan! Buy low sell high! Business stuff!!

  9. “Yeah, I got Lindsay’s cord blood right here. They say it might be useful later in life for curing diseases and what the fuck ever but it can be yours for $60 bucks and a Wendy’s value meal with a large Frosty. Alright, you keep the $60 cash and throw in a chili. Deal. Any interest in Ali’s?”

  10. crb

    SAYS WHO I CAN’T MAKE A PHONE CALL ON MY RC-MONSTER TRUCK BATTERY PACK!??

    DOES WAYNE BRADY HAVE TO SMACK A BITCH!!!?!!

  11. Helena Handbasket

    basura blanca – roja entrepierna

  12. “I have naked photos of Lindsey Lohan for sale…What do you mean you already have some! That’s my baby girl! I’ll kill you!”

  13. “Conservatorship. How do I get one?”

  14. The only person on this Earth that’s a bigger piece of shit than this asshole is Donald Trump.

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