1. Tara Reid

    WOW…Melanie Griffith has really gone downhill.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      You must not have seen Melanie in a while. Tats, armpit fat, and a human face would be an upgrade.

  2. Your face moves! My ex can’t say that! Good job!

  3. That? That’s his fucking rebound? WTF man, you’re supposed to find something better.

  4. “Hey Antonio, how’s divorce treating you?”

  5. Brit

    It’s *how* wide, Antonio?

  6. “Who’s got two thumbs and is ready to slap those cankles and ride the wave in? this guy!”

  7. “Hey, Tone, she has a great pair of gazongas, but I’m thinking you might want to keep looking around before you make any decisions. Know what I mean, Tone…???”

  8. I bet she pops her gum, has a Chicago accent, and wants you to look at her foot corns and tell her if they look infected to you.

  9. “Hey Antonio, will this beard do?”

  10. Father Dougal

    More like “The Expandables”.

  11. “Thank you everyone! Address all further questions to Ms. Dunham here.”

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