1. excuse me for another 15 seconds….

  2. Blue Shirt Special

    Wow, she looks hot.

  3. Ladypants

    “Now the thing to remember is Xenu’s weakness is a paddle to the balls, which, coincidentally, if administered by John Travolta is how my dad spent every Tuesday afternoon.”

  4. “You’re so hot. Watch, this is how my dad would react.”

  5. EricLR

    Aww, that’s cute. He reacts to women the same way his dad does.

  6. The perks of being Tom Cruise’s son. Well done Connor.

  7. j/k

    Sorry babe, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I’m a Cruise man!

  8. fred

    Girl: RAPE! Help somebody! A black man is trying to rape me!

    Cruise: Relax lady. I’m just trying to see if you need any help with your board.

  9. journalschism

    “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don’t want to scare you, but my dad says if you come any closer, I’ll get this horrible disease where my penis stiffens and I’ll want to put it in your vagina. And no one wants that, right?”

  10. whatever

    who is the black woman who Cruise impregnated, and then pretend-adopted his own son
    somebody please sneak some dna samples and prove it
    did grace jones pop that out?

  11. There’s only one problem with this theory.

  12. Vladimir

    That Ireland Baldwin gets AROUND…

  13. “All I asked you was Have you ever considered joining the completely legitimate religion of Scientology and you beat me off in the ocean…but not in the way I was hoping.”


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