“Hey, Tom! Tom! Tom!! Tom!!! Tommy! Tom!!!”
As usual Tom is not interested, Russel Brand on the other hand seems quite interested.
He’s fishing for Thetans.
Whenever I need him to back off, I just flash the old vajayjay and he runs away.
The kneeling guy doesn’t seem to like the smell.
“I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole,” says the guy on the left.
I think we can do better than this. Okay.
“I got you a 10ft pole Mr. Cruise”
“I’m still not touching her goddamit!”
“Will you tell her to put her leg down?? I’m NOT doing this scene until she puts her tramp leg down!!”
The mission, should you choose to accept it, is to look at her vagina.
Tom is totally imaging how that gold-lamé would feel on his skin.
Tom Cruise ” You cant catch me heterosexual thoughts”
Remember how I said I was going to do all my own stunts? About that…
“Put the leg down Ferguson. It won’t work without the strap on.”
…don’t know who she is, but she seems like my kinda gal.
“Is that the best we can do to make her look shorter than me? Have her put her leg up on the balustrade?”
“Sorry, Tom, that’s the best we can do. Will you be distracted by her leg? What about the panty flash?”
“The what? Oh yeah, whatever. All right, let’s get this scene over with.”
The MacGuffin for this Mission: Impossible is Tom’s dramatic attempt to escape contact with any vagina.
I see England, I see France,……..
See, this is why you should always demand script approval, Tom…
Finally a Ferguson worth screwing.
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