Give it up dude, you’re not getting laid.
NEVER NEVER EVER!!
But he “had fun once”!
The musician doesn’t ALWAYS get the girl. Especially the ones in cargo shorts.
Is she really pretending to go out with him?
Her outfit says: “I’m available, but you probably can’t afford me.”
His outfit says: “I masturbate a lot.”
I have a closet full of camo cargo shorts and t-shirts.
Time to come out of the closet
Nah. I’d rather continue having sex with someone I love… me.
She’s mentally composing another break up song.
Could she get the waistband of those shorts pulled up ANY higher?
Totally don’t get the whole grandma shorts and bathing suits she wears. Christ! I can’t even consider her bathing suits ‘bikinis’ there practically a one piece.
Her high shorts show off her huge camel toe and I love her for that.
“I’m a little bit country…”
“I’m a little bit total douchebag.”
That’s not Ed Sheeran. That’s Brayden Cole from A Critical Hit Productions on YouTube.
I have no fucking idea who either of those things are.
Yeah, it was a really obscure reference. But if you go to the youtube channel acriticalhit64 you would see that it’s spot on.
Her stylist just turns to random pages in a 1957 Sears catalog now.
It’s like if Frodo and Lady Galadriel went out.
She is hot as hell.
The sexual chemistry between them is palpably non-existent.
I bet she’s breaking up with him because he’s got a tiny guitar.
And now Ladies and Gentleman , my brand new song that my good friend Taylor helped me to write … “Friendzone Blueballs”
I love her SO much. I don’t have a CLUE what any of her songs sound like, but she looks like she smells like strawberries.
I LOVE strawberries!
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