1. Black is slimming on thin people.

  2. brick

    He’s got t-rex arms!

  3. I guess truck drivers have been dressing like millionaires this whole time. I had no idea.

  4. catapostrophe

    He Didn’t Light His Cigarette

  5. I would love to party with this guy

  6. He’s done with Uptown Girls…now he just wants a Poolhall Skank.

  7. Batu Khan

    - Billy, can’t smoke here! It’s a fire hazard!
    - It’s OK. If anything happens I’m covered. My attorney advised me to write a song about it as an alibi. It works every time.

  8. joe

    I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life.

  9. john

    went from the piano man to the ate-too-much-pizza man

  10. He’s just waiting on “Captain Jack.”

  11. Well if working too hard gives you a heat attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack, what does latkes, booze and chain smoking get you?

  12. The Pope

    World’s heaviest cigarette.

  13. I didn’t start the fire, I extinguished my Winston, in the nearby butt bin.

  14. broduhjenner

    if he doesn’t lose some weight, it’s gonna be more than the good dying young

  15. Margaret

    Pie-an-Ho-man

  16. EricLR

    His gut is….movin’ out…dah dah dah dah dah

  17. wugga wugga wut?

    If this is what they have to look forward to, it’s a wonder Catholic girls get started at all.

  18. …he’s the stranger …to himself …whenever he walks passed a mirror.

  19. Ken

    Fuck you guys.
    This man has more talent in his toenail clippings than any dozen “pop stars” put together. His smoking doesn’t affect his singing; I just saw him in concert a couple of years ago. And he’s certainly not too robust to reach the piano keys. Magnificently. He’s been entertaining millions of people for over 40 years – he can dress as he pleases and eat a burger (or six) if he feels like it.

  20. ‘…yeah, it’ll be 3 grand to move everything. Furniture, white goods – a cinch. What? Fine china? No problem, lady – me and my boys take good care of it all. What’s that? Pia- fuck you lady! I don’t fucking do pianos, got it!?’

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