1. Black is slimming on thin people.

  2. brick

    He’s got t-rex arms!

  3. I guess truck drivers have been dressing like millionaires this whole time. I had no idea.

  4. catapostrophe

    He Didn’t Light His Cigarette

  5. I would love to party with this guy

  6. He’s done with Uptown Girls…now he just wants a Poolhall Skank.

  7. Batu Khan

    - Billy, can’t smoke here! It’s a fire hazard!
    - It’s OK. If anything happens I’m covered. My attorney advised me to write a song about it as an alibi. It works every time.

  8. joe

    I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life.

  9. john

    went from the piano man to the ate-too-much-pizza man

  10. He’s just waiting on “Captain Jack.”

  11. Well if working too hard gives you a heat attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack, what does latkes, booze and chain smoking get you?

  12. The Pope

    World’s heaviest cigarette.

  13. I didn’t start the fire, I extinguished my Winston, in the nearby butt bin.

  14. broduhjenner

    if he doesn’t lose some weight, it’s gonna be more than the good dying young

  15. Margaret


  16. EricLR

    His gut is….movin’ out…dah dah dah dah dah

  17. wugga wugga wut?

    If this is what they have to look forward to, it’s a wonder Catholic girls get started at all.

  18. …he’s the stranger …to himself …whenever he walks passed a mirror.

  19. Ken

    Fuck you guys.
    This man has more talent in his toenail clippings than any dozen “pop stars” put together. His smoking doesn’t affect his singing; I just saw him in concert a couple of years ago. And he’s certainly not too robust to reach the piano keys. Magnificently. He’s been entertaining millions of people for over 40 years – he can dress as he pleases and eat a burger (or six) if he feels like it.

  20. ‘…yeah, it’ll be 3 grand to move everything. Furniture, white goods – a cinch. What? Fine china? No problem, lady – me and my boys take good care of it all. What’s that? Pia- fuck you lady! I don’t fucking do pianos, got it!?’

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