superficial

  1. “um, yes, I’ll take 4 of the infants sportswear bottoms. Pink please. Just leave them outside for me, I’m..uhhh, in a hurry this time. The money will be in the usual place.”

  2. “umm…yeah, I think I’m at the right address, but the sign doesn’t say anything about ‘douchebags’ “

  3. “Yo, Shia! It’s YOUR turn to wear the hair!”

  4. “I think this is the right place, but the sign clearly says ‘womens’, and if it’s, like womens womens, then I swear to god…”

  5. Frank Burns

    Uhh, mom? I’m at Segal’s . . . which part do I my undies from – mens, womens, children, or infants? I know its not sportswear.

  6. fred

    “Yes, I’m standing here. Outside of Fred Segal. Just like we discussed. But there are no paparazzi anywhere. It’s like nobody cares anymore. Wait-you don’t think that people really do think I’m gay, do you? “

  7. Batu Khan

    - Can you hear me now?
    - Yes, Kevin!
    - Now?
    - Yes!… Look, just keep walking until I can’t and then stay there.

  8. “Oh hey, ya… none of our fans who used to hang out at Fred Segals seem to go there anymore, so I’m going to go back and look for our careers at Baskin Robbins again. What’s that? Jonah Hill’s in my booth?! Mother fucker…!”

  9. Good thing he got the $800 dollar ostrich-skin workboots with rabbit fur insoles for all of the intense manual labor he surely does everyday.

  10. Frenchy

    Yeah, that guy is straight

    /sarcasm

  11. “Yeah, I’ll take three men, four children and two infants… no, none of those womens. And maybe a tracksuit, why not?”

  12. “I can’t believe I drove all the way out here to buy a couple of infants, and the bastards are all out. Now what? I guess I’ll just buy some fish ‘n’ chips, a quart of gin, and head home.”

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