Her life worked out really well huh?

so THAT’s how she’s managed to stay alive…

Security!!

Hard to believe that a heterosexual looking guy like him couldn’t fight off Tara Reed!

I think I can tell why he’s making air quotes:

“Please get off me. Your ‘human vagina’ is burning a hole through my guts.”

For Jedward (aka John and Edward, the talentless twins who competed on X-Factor UK a couple of years ago), this is a freakin’ dream come true.
He’s not struggling, he’s pointing at the cameras and saying “Are you guys getting this?!?”

I know what she’s doing. I saw “Lifeforce”.

I literally started dry heaving.

Bet you feel stupid for not wearing a “Do Not Resuscitate” bracelet now.

puking mid-coitus has got to be arousing.

This guy has to be thinking that the dumpster at a Red Lobster smells better.

And…..there goes her last bit of self respect.

I guess when your tits scare guys to death you have to know CPR.

well i guess he thinks he is lucky to have her in that position.

someone give her a sourball

BRAINS!!!

Arrested Development.

It’s trying to harvest his young healthy stomach.

What kind of bet do you have to lose to end up doing that ?

In Tara’s defense, this is not the first time someone mistook one of the Jedward for a CPR dummy.

GIVE ME YOUR YOUTH, SCRAWNY SPACE JOCKEY!!!

Isn’t this the stage version of “One Night in Paris”?

She’s wrestling a homeless man for a cigarette butt. He gave up when her crotch got close to his ‘I may be a bum, but I’m not a bum with STDs!’

Here’s hoping whatever she’s got is highly contagious and terminal.

“Tara want smush smush”

Far out! Now all I need is one of a guy cumming in her mouth and and another of her swallowing, and my collection is complete!

Get a job! Both of you!

Now that’s the knees of a working girl.

where would one even purchase a trucker hat now… in 2012?