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And that accident was herpes.
look bitch like i said, my pants are tighter than your shorts!
Poor guy must have gotten scared. He pissed all over the front of his shirt.
And by minor accident they mean 2 hour ass pounding in a seedy motel.
Yup, and Russells ass was really sore after taking it for those 2 hours.
Murse, moobs and manpris- a douchebag trifecta!
She probably rear-ended him to tell him “It’s yours”.
id take whatever that is over his fembot wife.
His purse is smaller than hers, so I guess he has that much going for him.
She slipped and fell on his dick
Never thought I’d see a quote from “The Last Boy Scout” on here….well done.
That girl has a brow ridge like a Neanderthal.
“Oy, usually I bang into a bird like yourself wit my willy!”
Lol
Handbags at dawn !
His purse is quite fetching.
I don’t understand women who wear shorts and skirts that are way too short and then spend half the damn day tugging them down. Here’s a hint… if you don’t want people to see your ass, WEAR LONGER CLOTHES.
Steady on young lady, did you say I look douchier in person that you ever imagined?
He is trying to buy her silence with a piece of bacon.
… mystery blonde with hot legs
yeah what a coincidence,… average joe usually get’s hit by old ugly ladies, ugly fat bitches or killed by truck drivers. That’s life for ya.
they cannot WAIT until he fucks up on that sped Christian, sped-style smarmy fake bisexual cunt of his…
Damn damn damn autocorrect.
“Russell Brand got into a minor accident with a mystery blonde in Los Angeles.”
That’s his story and he is sticking to it. At least until Katy finds out…
Why does he insist on wearing pants that would fit a 12-year-old girl?
Because he secretly is a 12-year-old girl?
“Next time let’s do mani-pedis instead of Brazilians ’cause my shorts are really chafing”
The British used to rule over 2/5 of the world’s land surface, and now the best they can do is David “where’s me willy?” Beckham and this big girl’s blouse. Did aliens swoop in around 1962 and swap out the entire male population of the British Isles with all the spare simpering nitwits in the rest of the galaxy?
“When I mentioned doing it from behind, I wasn’t referring to a fender bender.”
I couldn’t even fit one of my balls in those pants.