1. “wears t-shirt in pool” is not a sign of confidence in ones physique.

  2. “Timmy just loves his inflatable Russel Crowe Orca.”

  3. EricLR

    Can you point at the dead hooker, son? Good boy!

  4. “Hey son, I threw your goldfish in here. Yep, right there. Next time I have to ask you twice to fetch me a scotch it’ll be the dog. You little prick.”

  5. Why is there a photo op in his backyard with his kid?

  6. Ten bucks says the kid wee’d down his back and he didn’t notice.

  7. Qmak

    “No no…follow through when you throw your phone at the common people. Again!”

  8. “Right before his final breakdown, Crowe took to beating people with a ten-year-old child he carried around for that express purpose.”

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